The Road To Braj is Strewn With Thorns

In Absolute Seriousness

2012-01-29T16:14:00.000-05:00

I am saying this in absolute dead seriousness.

Newt Gingrich is in the middle of a major manic episode.

Now, that's some pretty heavy words, right? Let's look at the situation.

We know that Newt has bipolar disorder in his family; he's been pretty open about his mother's experiences with the illness. And we also know that bipolar disorder does have a familial tendency.

So those are some predisposing factors.

Then we've got reports of erratic and kind of bizarre behavior in his past, from colleagues, staffers and others. There's also the issue of his serial adultery. Hypersexuality and infidelity are hallmarks of bipolar disorder, especially during manic phases.

And then we've got grandiose, euphoric, and plain old weird behavior. Delusions and breaks with reality, psychotic episodes, can happen, especially during manic episodes.

So many people have commented on his grandiosity. It's not some kind of unheard of thing.

And really, the icing on the cake, the one thing that really pushed me over the edge into believing that the man is seriously in the middle of a manic episode needing some sort of interventional activity, is his recent announcement that by the end of his SECOND term, by 2020, he would have established a colony on the moon that would ultimately become a US state.

Come on. Please. Forget partisianship. Forget personal feelings. Forget all that. Just look at the facts here.

The man is manic. He needs help. He needs some kind of medication. He needs something. He's not right. And I should know, me of all people, I should be able to recognize a manic episode when I see one. And seriously, this is a manic episode.

I don't know whether to feel sorry for the man or to be frightened.

I've Only Got One Of These

2012-01-06T10:05:00.003-05:00

So I got results back on my MRI. (I also-ahem-acquired an actual copy of the report and proceeded to dissect it in minutiae with some doctors I work with.)

In the nutshell it showed basically two things.

One, there are multiple joints and tendon compartments that have fluid on them. This is a major source of the pain I've been having. It's relieving to find out I'm not imagining things.

Two, several bones showed abnormal signals in the bone marrow. This could be due to a number of issues (including the chronic inflammation of the joints.) I did, of course, monster research on the significance of T2 signal increase in bone marrow, and came up with a whole lot of particularly scary stuff, the most scary of which being rheumatoid arthritis.

A lot of my life has been centered in some way or another around art; creativity, taking a visual from my brain and making it real. Just yesterday, in fact, I spent every free minute I had at work on a piece of foam I got from PT, making it into a precision engineered custom fitted piece of adaptive equipment made to hold my pen so I can write with it while I'm stuck in this brace. I should post a picture of it (I will, later) because no shit, it's impressive as hell. I fitted it to my hand in the brace, with special cutouts for each finger, and once I got those basics down I spent quite a while streamlining it so it wasn't bulky. Then I got into style points and smoothed out all the square edges. I don't think OT at my job could have done any better, especially considering that I was working with a piece of foam they were throwing away and the only tool I had was scissors from the dollar store.

Besides being a frustrated OT/sculptor, there's a million other things I do with my hands.. I knit, I sew, I type 75wpm. I garden. I paint and draw and build stuff using all kinds of power tools (terrifying my husband, who always thinks I'm half a second away from losing a limb).

And dancing. Mudras, hand positions, are so incredibly important in bharatnatyam; they are what really tell the story. A lot of them are complicated and difficult for anyone; they require you to put your fingers in some really awkward positions. Last night in dance class I tried to work with my brace on, and I just couldn't manage it, so off (I'm ridiculously noncompliant but at least I admit it) it came.

I play multiple musical instruments, not just bass. I may not be fluent in any of them, but I do play them.

Last but not least, I'm a nurse; my hands are what I work with, and actually, where a good deal of my knowledge lies.

So the thought of a disabling condition to my hands is enough to give me nightmares.

A girl I work with has RA. She was diagnosed a few years ago. Her hands are fine; she told me that she went through this same terror when she was diagnosed. There's no way to predict who will or won't have their hands affected, but she explained to me that nowadays the new medicines they have can actually slow the disease progression to a point where this kind of severe disability doesn't need to happen. This made me feel a bit better, but not much, because you can't cure RA.

So the plan we (me and the PA) came up with was this. He asked me did I want to see a hand surgeon. I asked if we could start with OT, go about 8 weeks with that, see if there's any improvement, before I get into something more invasive. He was fine with that. And we're going to do a complete rheumatology workup, because I fit the profile in that it's 3:1 women to men and most people are diagnosed in their 40s. So all that, my first OT (with a certified hand specialist) and the labwork will be on Tuesday. I'm sure he'll be fabricating some sort of a magnificent brace, and once he's done laughing at my jerryrigged jacked up adaptive equipment (which I am still immensely proud of), he'll pull some incredibly fabulous item out of his closet that will work a hundred times better. Honestly in my heart given that this has been going on for months I don't think therapy will do much for it, but I want to try it before I let a surgeon cut on me, because, bottom line is this: I only have one right hand.

I do feel a million times better knowing that there's a real source of this pain, and having a plan to at least start addressing it is hopeful. So while I anticipate being in some level of immobilization right through springtime, and geez that seriously sucks, at least there's a direction and the opportunity to get this thing taken care of once and for all.

Back in the day: a comment I posted at Z's

2012-01-04T20:41:00.000-05:00

At Z's I posted this.

Back in the day... geez, back in the day I was the band's girlfriend and I started the day with SoCo and sweet tea, every day, and I subscribed to the principle of Better Living Through Chemistry and I failed out of school simply because I didn't show up and I was a psychopath magnet and I was a very locally famous college radio DJ that was completely off the chart unstrung and time-bomb unstable.. I was the queen of my own planet. I was out protesting and activizing and fighting for rights. I was drunk or high (or both) for three endless years of which, mercifully, I don't have much memory of. I drove a 1955 BelAir and wore b/w saddle shoes with neon green laces and worshiped at the altar of the Sex Pistols, The Clash, and The Ramones. I interviewed The Great Kat (still around) and a band called Genocide (not). A lot of the time I wanted to die but I was too busy reinventing wheels and remodeling the universe. I dated a guy named Spyder.(That's a nice way to put it.) I was equal opportunity. (That's another nice way to put it.) I was a tortured artist who spent as much time self-torturing as being tortured (see psychopath magnet, above). I studied Marx, Debs, Mao and Plato. I learned to read and write in several languages. I went to an AA meeting and hated it. I read four different translations of the Bible cover to cover. I got paid in drugs in alcohol. (Yet another well-spoken sidestep.)

That's back in the day.

After that I got sober, got straight, got a doctor to help me out, got an amazing guy, got married, got a house, got elected LPN class president, got a 4.0 in LPN school AND RN school, got a shitload of jobs, got Krishna and got to a place in my life where yeah, it's all right.

But I don't wanna forget the parts I can remember of back in the day, because this day wouldn't be these days if those days hadn't been those days. It was scary, ugly, gutter, reality show gone bad, but it's part of what made me what I am.

So yeah, it's in the past, but I don't think you should let go of it completely.

Modern Technology: or, All I Want For Christmas Even Though Christmas Is Over

2011-12-28T08:41:00.003-05:00

This is the interior structure of my right thumb as seen by the bigass MRI at Duke Hospital.

Last night, when I went to have this done, I learned that properly imaging a thumb is one of the most difficult studies there is to do.

Thus explaining that whilst a complete abdomen can be done in 25 minutes, my film took almost 2 hours.

A big part of a good MRI is keeping PERFECTLY STILL. Any movement causes 'artifact', which kind of looks like stars or fireworks on the MRI that block the images.

So I did the very best I could to lay PERFECTLY STILL on my stomach with my right arm extended up over my head and my hand and forearm immobilized in a radio frequency cage thing. When it was over I thought my shoulder would never move again.

I must have done a good job, because they said the study came out technically perfect.

It amazes me to look at these images and really get into the detail. I know some anatomy, but not enough to either read these or to appreciate how much the MRI reveals. Still, it's amazing.

So what I Want For Christmas Even Though Christmas Is Over is to get a phone call today telling me exactly what it is that's wrong with my hand, and exactly what we need to do to fix it.

I'm off for the next few days. We have a lot to do; today I'm going to see the Clinical Crusader, that's Wednesday; Thursday we have to drop the car back off at the body shop so they can pull a couple of dings out, and go buy some stuff for the MIL's present; Friday we're going to VA for an overnight at the MIL's (her guest room has TWIN BEDS!!! so I always feel like we're Ricky and Lucy Ricardo when we have to stay overnight up there.. ) and then Saturday, it appears, we're going to go buy a new car. I never believe anything about a car in this house until it happens, so I'll let you know then.

A Good Thing

2011-12-19T18:53:00.002-05:00

Today's the first day since the beginning of November that I rated my mood 'okay'.

It's a good thing.

Why I hate Tim Tebow

2011-12-18T14:49:00.000-05:00

Because athletes only give the glory to their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

when they WIN the game.

Slogging On

2011-12-18T14:11:00.001-05:00

So sometimes you just gotta take what you can get.

My hand's been bothering me since August. I had two visits with Triangle Ortho (including one with their hand specialist) that got me nowhere. They shot it full of cortisone, I think mostly to shut me up, but there was no effort made to find the diagnosis about this pain I'm having, and really, I feel that once they found out about me being bipolar, they completely wrote me off as crazy. I truly believe that, because I could sense the difference in the first doctor's attitude the minute he found out, and of course the second doctor had read the chart.

I finally decided to make another effort to find out what's going on, because things are really getting worse, and I went to Duke Ortho. What a difference. (Of course, I haven't announced any of my diagnoses. They haven't asked; I haven't contributed that specific information.) But I was really pleased. I saw a PA, and the exam he gave me was really thorough, isolated every tendon, discussed possibilities with me, and we decided to begin with an MRI to see what else can be visualized. I think just being taken seriously made a big difference to me. I mean, there's no doubt to me that SOMETHING is wrong; this pain is getting debilitating, and that just doesn't happen, and I'm not imagining it.

Besides that, the Seroquel has helped somewhat. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm back to what we could call a neutral zone, but I can say that there's been some improvement. Scott's seconding that, so that validates my opinion.

I'm not real fond of holiday times. It's just all real inconvenient. I end up working most years, and that pisses off the family. We have to do a lot of traveling. The whole decorating thing gets on my nerves. It just is all a lot of bother. I'll be happy when it's over. It's not a religious thing or anything, because it's a cultural thing, a family thing, we do it cause they do it and it's even more bother to not, but it's still in general a pain in my ass.

Anyway, overall I think things are maybe not alright but not nearly as bad as they were, and I'm good with that.

Just Win, Baby

2011-12-10T10:13:00.001-05:00

Sometimes you have to make some interventions, even if you don't necessarily want to or if they aren't the interventions you'd choose in a perfect world. I think that could apply to all situations; it especially works for my perspective on politics. As I've gotten older ideological purity isn't quite as important to me as what can successfully be accomplished in the short (and long) term. Baby steps have become more valuable to me, as long as they're heading in the right direction.

But this post isn't about politics (though feel free to take it there in the comments, if you so desire; not many people comment here though and that's all right too). This post is about the self. Not necessarily MY self, but selves in general.

With everything that goes on with me, the whole bipolar thing, it takes a lot of responsibility and self-determination to take care of myself and to include myself in the treatment plan as much as possible. I say it this way because it's not something I always care about or want to do. But it's an important part of keeping things as status quo as possible, since I can't be going to see a doctor every day and because I have outside responsibilities that I need to fulfil.

So there are very important parts of my healthcare that really no one can manage but me. I have to keep my sleep as regular as possible (in terms both of what time do I go to bed and how long do I stay there). There's a documented link between not sleeping and mania, and I can vouch for the validity of the claim. Sleep and routine is a major, and it's one of the reasons Scott gets so unnerved about me working so much overtime. He's right to be concerned. I am too, but not enough to give it up. Another very important part of managing bipolar disorder for me, over time, is tracking my mood. This has really played a part lately in that having been graphing it since summertime, I was able to pick up on some unlikely trends, and made the decision to kick in some intervention long before I would have otherwise (and pretty much without needing to go to the doctor. And in the event that my internal mirror is dusty, my husband is also concerned and involved enough to bring feedback to help confirm or refute.

Anyway, point of this all being that either manic or depressed you have to have two things: one, insight on what's going on (not always as easy as it sounds) and two, a willingness to take intervention (not always something that seems appealing).

I spent the entire summer more or less manic and it sucked. Things calmed down a while in late August/September, which, strangely enough, is historically a manic time for me. I guess I burned it all out before. It was one of the longest episodes I've ever had, certainly the longest manic one, and brought with it a serious concern about how bipolar disorder gets worse as you get older (research seems to prove this). Now, my episodes are in general way, way shorter than most people, but I'm a rapid cycler; instead of long, drawn out episodes with decent size breaks between, my breaks are generally only a couple of months, and then away we go again. I don't have many depressions.

This what I've been dealing with began in October, and from what I can tell it's a mixed episode, the first I've ever had, and it's as uncomfortable as hell. It's confusing, bewildering, and just plain uncomfortable. It's worse than either being manic or depressed. It makes me restless (but not hyper), uncertain of everything (everything around me as well as everything pertaining strictly to myself), and really in a way embarrassed because I honestly have no idea how I'm going to react to anything. I absolutely do not like this and I really don't know quite how to deal with it.

What we (me and my husband) did finally decide to do was for me to restart the Seroquel. I was put on this back in July for being manic. That episode had some elements that were way out of proportion to anything I'd had previously and for the first time we (me and my doctor) decided it was time to add something on. I insisted that it had to be short-term, and he agreed, and it was effective.

The funny thing about Seroquel is that it's used to treat both mania and depression. It's also used to treat schizophrenia. It's one of those drugs that you really need to consider before you decide to get on it. Like all of these type drugs it has some serious side effects, so you have to decide whether getting better is worth running the risk of dealing with side effects. For me I felt during the summer that things were bad enough that I had to do it, but my compromise was that it would be short term.

Everyone's side effects from any drug are different. Some people have none at all. For me, Seroquel pretty much made me stupid; thinking slow, being slow. One of its actions is that it makes you sleep (desirable) but for me that hangover effect was really pronounced and the stupidity was all the time, not just in the mornings. Two, I had to learn to get up slowly. Orthostatic hypotension (pressure drops out when you stand) is also a listed side effect and it caused me one morning to actually pass out and hit my head quite hard. This was solved easy enough by just getting up slow. Three, basic things like dry mouth. This happens with so many drugs it's not a big deal. Drink water. One major side effect was wanting to eat ALL THE TIME. For a lot of people Seroquel causes serious weight gain. I didn't, but I have surgical stuff working in my favor. Also, especially this time around, I'm making better choices about what things I put in my mouth. Healthy stuff, carrot sticks, apples, radishes, lower calorie things. If I'm going to want to eat ALL THE TIME I can at least eat things that aren't 1100 calories and 99 grams of fat each.

So I'm back on the Seroquel. It's a little different this time because I'm keeping it at a seriously low dose. Standard dosing, which I had last time, starts at 300mg and goes all the way up to 800. When I was coming off it (you need to taper it) I found that way down at 75mg I felt really good, with virtually no side effects and functioning really well. I came off it anyway, but with the promise to my doctor that if things happened where I needed it (I keep it in the house) that I would go ahead and take it. This time we (me and Scott) agreed that I did need it, but that I would go for the absolute lowest effective dose, which actually does seem to be that 75mg. I don't know if I absorb it differently, if it has something to do with my weird nutritional status or maybe I'm just super-sensitive to how it works, but it does seem to be working. It's early yet so I'm still dealing with the hangovers and a little bit of stupidity (thankfully the Vyvanse does seem to address this) as well as that dry mouth thing, but I've not had any of that hypotension and I'm not wanting to eat quite as much as last time around, when I was on 300mg. Anyway, the important thing is that we've agreed that things are improving/better, and I'll be damned if I increase this dose as long as we're seeing improvement. Lowest effective dose.

I'm going to see my doctor at the end of this month and tell him whatall's been going on. I think he'll be in agreement with the plan we've set up and really I think it's always a good thing for me to take charge of things as much as possible (he does too). Being a nurse he trusts me with a lot more than I think he would otherwise. I have virtually free rein with the Vyvanse, anyway. Going on and off the Lamictal, which I do with disappointing regularity, is just flat noncompliance, and never works out well. But for the most part I manage with good success.

Anyway, that's my story on Seroquel. Good drug but carries with it a lot of baggage you really have to decide if you're willing to put up with. And of course most people seem to require a fourfold dosage from what I'm at, which means proportionately the potential for more side effects. It's all up to where are you now and is it worth it. A lot of people hate Seroquel. It has a lot of bad press. For me at the moment it's working. I will probably go off it again, my plan is to start working down with it in maybe mid-January (it'll take me a couple weeks to taper it) and to get off it again, but at this really low dose, I don't know; it might be a better idea to keep it going. That will take more thought and more discussion as things settle down.

And they have settled down, really over a matter of just a few days. And it's good. It's good for me and Scott and our relationship and my job. I'm more comfortable, things are more even, I can trust myself a little more to not freak out at random. In a nutshell it works for me. Maybe not for everyone, but for me.

Also, let me just offer this link: the best place to get information about medicines and conditions.

Doormat

2011-12-06T21:10:00.001-05:00

I need this.

2011-12-06T13:59:00.001-05:00

YOU DON'T GET IT.

I KEEP IT.

Debate: What You Need To Know

2011-12-02T11:52:00.001-05:00

^{Logic was one of my favorite classes. I enjoy debate in general to the point where I can and sometimes will argue both sides of a given topic. My personal feelings about any given topic don't necessarily matter; a good debate is an end in itself.}

^{It's important to remember, and this is something I see frequently, that you always have to have a point to prove. There always has to be some kind of statement or position you're defending, and you need to be able to articulate that position, and you have to move towards that conclusion. A lot of what passes for 'debate' these days really gets promulgated by people who have no real position to begin with. This is like that 'neti neti' Mayavadi philosophical position: 'not this, not this'. It doesn't work towards what IS, but what isn't. It doesn't really get you anywhere. And even if you decide to amuse yourself by arguing the other side of the question, you have to remember that you're working towards a conclusion. This doesn't mean that a given conversation can't diverge, but that statements actively referencing the argument have to move towards presenting and promoting a particular position. Too many 'arguments' are just refutations of other people's positions without presenting anything themselves.}

^{Now if you're going to do this at all successfully you have to be able to recognize the shit people will attempt to sling at you. Now, there's a lot to it, so you can't possibly be expected to know all of these things in detail, but being able to spot a nonsense argument, and knowing how to come back at it, is a good place to begin.}

^{This all comes from Wiki, because God knows I couldn't just pull all this out of my back pocket.}

^{I'm highlighting the ones I see most often.}

^{A formal fallacy is an error in logic that can be seen in the argument's form without an understanding of the argument's content. All formal fallacies are specific types of non sequiturs.

    Appeal to authority – (argumentum ad verecundiam) deductively fallacious; even legitimate authorities speaking on their areas of expertise may affirm a falsehood. However, if not using a deductive argument, a logical fallacy is only asserted when the source is not a legitimate expert on the topic at hand, or their conclusion(s) are in direct opposition to other expert consensus. Appeal to authority does not condone to agreeing to the argument.
    Appeal to probability – assumes that because something could happen, it is inevitable that it will happen.
    Argument from fallacy – assumes that if an argument for some conclusion is fallacious, then the conclusion itself is false.
    Base rate fallacy – making a probability judgement based on conditional probabilities, without taking into account the effect of prior probabilities.
    Conjunction fallacy – assumption that an outcome simultaneously satisfying multiple conditions is more probable than an outcome satisfying a single one of them.
    Masked man fallacy (illicit substitution of identicals) – the substitution of identical designators in a true statement can lead to a false one.

Propositional fallacies:

    Affirming a disjunct – concluded that one logical disjunction must be false because the other disjunct is true; A or B; A; therefore not B.}
^{Affirming the consequent – the antecedent in an indicative conditional is claimed to be true because the consequent is true; if A, then B; B, therefore A.
    Denying the antecedent – the consequent in an indicative conditional is claimed to be false because the antecedent is false; if A, then B; not A, therefore not B.

Quantificational fallacies:

    Existential fallacy – an argument has two universal premises and a particular conclusion.

Syllogistic fallacies – logical fallacies that occur in syllogisms.

    Affirmative conclusion from a negative premise (illicit negative) – when a categorical syllogism has a positive conclusion, but at least one negative premise.
    Fallacy of exclusive premises – a categorical syllogism that is invalid because both of its premises are negative.
    Fallacy of four terms (quaternio terminorum) – a categorical syllogism that has four terms.
    Illicit major – a categorical syllogism that is invalid because its major term is not distributed in the major premise but distributed in the conclusion.
    Illicit minor – a categorical syllogism that is invalid because its minor term is not distributed in the minor premise but distributed in the conclusion.
    Negative conclusion from affirmative premises (illicit affirmative) – when a categorical syllogism has a negative conclusion but affirmative premises.
    Fallacy of the undistributed middle – the middle term in a categorical syllogism is not distributed.

Informal fallacies – arguments that are fallacious for reasons other than structural (formal) flaws and which usually require examination of the argument's content.

    Argument from ignorance (appeal to ignorance, argumentum ad ignorantiam) – assuming that a claim is true (or false) because it has not been proven false (true) or cannot be proven false (true).
    Argument from repetition (argumentum ad nauseam) – signifies that it has been discussed extensively until nobody cares to discuss it anymore
    Argument from silence (argumentum e silentio) – where the conclusion is based on silence of opponent, failing to give proof, based on "lack of evidence"
    Argumentum verbosium – See Proof by verbosity, below.
    Begging the question (petitio principii) – where the conclusion of an argument is implicitly or explicitly assumed in one of the premises
    (shifting the) Burden of proof (see – onus probandi) – I need not prove my claim, you must prove it is false
    Circular cause and consequence – where the consequence of the phenomenon is claimed to be its root cause
    Continuum fallacy (fallacy of the beard, line-drawing fallacy, sorites fallacy, fallacy of the heap, bald man fallacy) – improperly rejecting a claim for being imprecise.
    Correlation does not imply causation (cum hoc ergo propter hoc) – a faulty assumption that correlation between two variables implies that one causes the other.}
^{Correlative-based fallacies}
^{Suppressed correlative – where a correlative is redefined so that one alternative is made impossible.
    Equivocation – the misleading use of a term with more than one meaning (by glossing over which meaning is intended at a particular time)
        Ambiguous middle term – a common ambiguity in syllogisms in which the middle term is equivocated
    Ecological fallacy – inferences about the nature of specific individuals are based solely upon aggregate statistics collected for the group to which those individuals belong.
    Etymological fallacy – which reasons that the original or historical meaning of a word or phrase is necessarily similar to its actual present-day meaning.
    Fallacy of composition – assuming that something true of part of a whole must also be true of the whole
    Fallacy of division – assuming that something true of a thing must also be true of all or some of its parts
    False dilemma (false dichotomy, fallacy of bifurcation, black-or-white fallacy) – two alternative statements are held to be the only possible options, when in reality there are more.
    If-by-whiskey – an argument that supports both sides of an issue by using terms that are selectively emotionally sensitive.
    Fallacy of many questions (complex question, fallacy of presupposition, loaded question, plurium interrogationum) – someone asks a question that presupposes something that has not been proven or accepted by all the people involved. This fallacy is often used rhetorically, so that the question limits direct replies to those that serve the questioner's agenda.
    Ludic fallacy – the belief that the outcomes of a non-regulated random occurrences can be encapsulated by a statistic; a failure to take into account unknown unknowns in determining the probability of an event's taking place.
    Fallacy of the single cause (causal oversimplification) – it is assumed that there is one, simple cause of an outcome when in reality it may have been caused by a number of only jointly sufficient causes.
    False attribution – an advocate appeals to an irrelevant, unqualified, unidentified, biased or fabricated source in support of an argument
        Fallacy of quoting out of context (contextomy) – refers to the selective excerpting of words from their original context in a way that distorts the source's intended meaning.
    Argument to moderation (false compromise, middle ground, fallacy of the mean) – assuming that the compromise between two positions is always correct
    Gambler's fallacy – the incorrect belief that separate, independent events can affect the likelihood of another random event.
    Historian's fallacy – occurs when one assumes that decision makers of the past viewed events from the same perspective and having the same information as those subsequently analyzing the decision.(Not to be confused with presentism, which is a mode of historical analysis in which present-day ideas, such as moral standards, are projected into the past.)
    Homunculus fallacy – where a "middle-man" is used for explanation, this usually leads to regressive middle-man. Explanations without actually explaining the real nature of a function or a process. Instead, it explains the concept in terms of the concept itself, without first defining or explaining the original concept.
    Incomplete comparison – where not enough information is provided to make a complete comparison
    Inconsistent comparison – where different methods of comparison are used, leaving one with a false impression of the whole comparison
    Intentional fallacy – addresses the assumption that the meaning intended by the author of a literary work is of primary importance
    Ignoratio elenchi (irrelevant conclusion, missing the point) – an argument that may in itself be valid, but does not address the issue in question.
    Kettle logic – using multiple inconsistent arguments to defend a position.
    Mind projection fallacy – when one considers the way he sees the world as the way the world really is.
    Moving the goalposts (raising the bar) – argument in which evidence presented in response to a specific claim is dismissed and some other (often greater) evidence is demanded
    Nirvana fallacy (perfect solution fallacy) – when solutions to problems are rejected because they are not perfect.
    Onus probandi – from Latin "onus probandi incumbit ei qui dicit, non ei qui negat" the burden of proof is on the person who makes the claim, not on the person who denies (or questions the claim). It is a particular case of the "argumentum ad ignorantiam" fallacy, here the burden is shifted on the person defending against the assertion
    Petitio principii – see begging the question
    Post hoc ergo propter hoc (false cause, coincidental correlation, correlation not causation) – X happened then Y happened; therefore X caused Y
    Proof by verbosity (argumentum verbosium, proof by intimidation) – submission of others to an argument too complex and verbose to reasonably deal with in all its intimate details. (See also Gish Gallop and argument from authority.)
    Prosecutor's fallacy – a low probability of false matches does not mean a low probability of some false match being found
    Psychologist's fallacy – an observer presupposes the objectivity of his own perspective when analyzing a behavioral event
    Red herring – a speaker attempts to distract an audience by deviating from the topic at hand by introducing a separate argument which the speaker believes will be easier to speak to.
    Regression fallacy – ascribes cause where none exists. The flaw is failing to account for natural fluctuations. It is frequently a special kind of the post hoc fallacy.
    Reification (hypostatization) – a fallacy of ambiguity, when an abstraction (abstract belief or hypothetical construct) is treated as if it were a concrete, real event or physical entity. In other words, it is the error of treating as a "real thing" something which is not a real thing, but merely an idea.
    Retrospective determinism – the argument that because some event has occurred, its occurrence must have been inevitable beforehand
    Special pleading – where a proponent of a position attempts to cite something as an exemption to a generally accepted rule or principle without justifying the exemption
    Straw man – an argument based on misrepresentation of opponent's position twisting his words, or by means of [false]assumptions
    Wrong direction – cause and effect are reversed. The cause is said to be the effect and vice versa.

Faulty generalizations – reach a conclusion from weak premises. Unlike fallacies of relevance, in fallacies of defective induction, the premises are related to the conclusions yet only weakly buttress the conclusions. A faulty generalization is thus produced.

    Accident – an exception to a generalization is ignored.
        No true Scotsman – when a generalization is made true only when a counterexample is ruled out on shaky grounds.
    Cherry picking (suppressed evidence, incomplete evidence) – act of pointing at individual cases or data that seem to confirm a particular position, while ignoring a significant portion of related cases or data that may contradict that position.
    False analogy – an argument by analogy in which the analogy is poorly suited.
    Hasty generalization (fallacy of insufficient statistics, fallacy of insufficient sample, fallacy of the lonely fact, leaping to a conclusion, hasty induction, secundum quid, converse accident) – basing a broad conclusion on a small sample.
    Misleading vividness – involves describing an occurrence in vivid detail, even if it is an exceptional occurrence, to convince someone that it is a problem.
    Overwhelming exception – an accurate generalization that comes with qualifications which eliminate so many cases that what remains is much less impressive than the initial statement might have led one to assume.
    Pathetic fallacy – when an inanimate object is declared to have characteristics of animate objects.
    Thought-terminating cliché – a commonly used phrase, sometimes passing as folk wisdom, used to quell cognitive dissonance, conceal lack of thought-entertainment, move onto other topics etc. but in any case, end the debate with a cliche—not a point.

Red herring – argument given in response to another argument, which is irrelevant and draws attention away from subject of argument. See also irrelevant conclusion.

    Ad hominem – attacking the arguer instead of the argument.
        Poisoning the well – a type of ad hominem where adverse information about a target is presented with the intention of discrediting everything that the target person says
        Abusive fallacy – a subtype of "ad hominem" when it turns into name-calling rather than arguing about the originally proposed argument.
    Argumentum ad baculum (appeal to the stick, appeal to force, appeal to threat) – an argument made through coercion or threats of force to support position
    Argumentum ad populum (appeal to belief, appeal to the majority, appeal to the people) – where a proposition is claimed to be true or good solely because many people believe it to be so
    Appeal to equality – where an assertion is deemed true or false based on an assumed pretense of equality.
    Association fallacy (guilt by association) – arguing that because two things share a property they are the same
    Appeal to authority – where an assertion is deemed true because of the position or authority of the person asserting it.
        Appeal to accomplishment – where an assertion is deemed true or false based on the accomplishments of the proposer.
    Appeal to consequences (argumentum ad consequentiam) – the conclusion is supported by a premise that asserts positive or negative consequences from some course of action in an attempt to distract from the initial discussion
    Appeal to emotion – where an argument is made due to the manipulation of emotions, rather than the use of valid reasoning
        Appeal to fear – a specific type of appeal to emotion where an argument is made by increasing fear and prejudice towards the opposing side
        Appeal to flattery – a specific type of appeal to emotion where an argument is made due to the use of flattery to gather support.
        Appeal to pity (argumentum ad misericordiam) – an argument attempts to induce pity to sway opponents
        Appeal to ridicule – an argument is made by presenting the opponent's argument in a way that makes it appear ridiculous
        Appeal to spite – a specific type of appeal to emotion where an argument is made through exploiting people's bitterness or spite towards an opposing party
        Wishful thinking – a specific type of appeal to emotion where a decision is made according to what might be pleasing to imagine, rather than according to evidence or reason.
    Appeal to motive – where a premise is dismissed by calling into question the motives of its proposer
    Appeal to novelty (argumentum ad novitam) – where a proposal is claimed to be superior or better solely because it is new or modern.
    Appeal to poverty (argumentum ad Lazarum) – supporting a conclusion because the arguer is poor (or refuting because the arguer is wealthy). (Opposite of appeal to wealth.)
    Appeal to tradition (argumentum ad antiquitam) – a conclusion supported solely because it has long been held to be true.
    Appeal to wealth (argumentum ad crumenam) – supporting a conclusion because the arguer is wealthy (or refuting because the arguer is poor).(Sometimes taken together with the appeal to poverty as a general appeal to the arguer's financial situation.)
    Argument from silence (argumentum ex silentio) – a conclusion based on silence or lack of contrary evidence
    Chronological snobbery – where a thesis is deemed incorrect because it was commonly held when something else, clearly false, was also commonly held
    Genetic fallacy – where a conclusion is suggested based solely on something or someone's origin rather than its current meaning or context.
    Judgmental language – insulting or pejorative language to influence the recipient's judgment
    Naturalistic fallacy (is–ought fallacy, naturalistic fallacy) – claims about what ought to be on the basis of statements about what is.
    Reductio ad Hitlerum (playing the Nazi card) – comparing an opponent or their argument to Hitler or Nazism in an attempt to associate a position with one that is universally reviled (See also – Godwin's law)
    Straw man – an argument based on misrepresentation of an opponent's position
    Texas sharpshooter fallacy – improperly asserting a cause to explain a cluster of data
    Tu quoque ("you too", appeal to hypocrisy) – the argument states that a certain position is false or wrong and/or should be disregarded because its proponent fails to act consistently in accordance with that position
    Two wrongs make a right – occurs when it is assumed that if one wrong is committed, another wrong will cancel it out.

Conditional or questionable fallacies

    Black swan blindness – the argument that ignores low probability, high impact events, thus down playing the role of chance and under representing known risks

    Broken window fallacy – an argument which disregards lost opportunity costs (typically non-obvious, difficult to determine or otherwise hidden) associated with destroying property of others, or other ways of externalizing costs onto others. For example, an argument that states breaking a window generates income for a window fitter, but disregards the fact that the money spent on the new window cannot now be spent on new shoes.
    Definist fallacy – involves the confusion between two notions by defining one in terms of the other.
    Naturalistic fallacy – attempts to prove a claim about ethics by appealing to a definition of the term "good" in terms of either one or more claims about natural properties (sometimes also taken to mean the appeal to nature)[citation needed]
    Slippery slope (thin edge of the wedge, camel's nose) – asserting that a relatively small first step inevitably leads to a chain of related events culminating in some significant impact}

It's Like That

2011-11-27T21:15:00.001-05:00

2011-11-24T23:20:00.001-05:00

This year Thanksgiving's turned out a little different. As more-or-less usual I had to work (but in a new and exciting change, I worked back to back 3-to-1 doubles this week). Scott found out almost literally at the last minute that he wasn't going to have to work, so in order to make all the respective families at least a little placated, we decided that on Thanksgiving day he would go to Virginia to see his mom for an overnight, and on Friday, when I left work, that I would go to Wilmington for an overnight to see my mom. It messes things up for us a little bit, but in the big picture I think we'll live through it.

So I worked two doubles back to back. I typically don't get any sleep on the first day, so I went from 0340 Tuesday until 1600 Wednesday with none whatsoever. I came home from work Wednesday at 1545 and fifteen minutes later I was sound asleep. I slept for 4.5 hours and woke up feeling like a million bucks.

Today I was pretty tired but it was a little sad coming home to an empty house. I don't think it was so much because it was Thanksgiving or whatever, maybe just cause of it being an empty house. So I cooked a little something, made some really kickass cornbread (recipe to be found in this book which you should buy anyway), some cabbage with TVP ham and some peas and corn. Not precisely traditional but then neither am I.

I fell asleep very (way too) early mostly because I just couldn't keep my eyes open and slept for just about 5 hours before bouncing up and realizing that this is going to completely suck if I can't get back to sleep. I can make some productive use of my time if I must (I haven't packed lunch or clothes or anything yet) but I really would be better off getting some more sleep. Social Rhythm Therapy is the real deal. As many times as I've tried to deny it, every time I do something like this I prove myself wrong. My body (and brain) react so fast and so emphatically to even the smallest changes in my sleep rhythms, and it takes me several days usually to calm and settle afterwards. I'm talking about more than just bouncing up way too early, by the way... there's a lot more to it than that. Anyway, the point is is that SRT is the real deal. And very, very effective IF you practice it.

But that doesn't change the fact that I have more OT on the books coming and I'm planning on getting 3-4 days a month for as long as I can. One of the 3rd shift RNs is really critically ill and may not be coming back at all, so there's no real end to it in sight. I know that sounds really selfish. It feels really selfish to say it, but it's the truth. She's gone through a lot in the past six months with a bad knee; several surgeries, multiple critical infections, really horrible stuff. And now this. And I'm sorry for her because she's just as sweet and good hearted a person as she can be, and I'd like nothing more than to see her get through all this once and for all and come on back to work. But in the meantime we're still mining that salt, and if there's a hole on 3rd I can fill for OT, yes, I can, and yes, I will.

We've got a new 'code word' around here. Ever notice how when you live with someone for a long time you kind of develop your own language? We're like that. When I work these weird OT hours and go for days with no sleep ("Sleep is for the weak.") and find myself staring down the rails of the Crazy Train, the new word for this is 'Butterfinger'. As in 'crispety crunchety peanut buttery'...

Anyway, to close this out, I always find it totally ironic how the President always 'pardons' two turkeys on Thanksgiving. 46 MILLION turkeys are slaughtered for Thanksgiving and two get pardoned. Pardoned for what? What crime had they ever committed? Being born turkeys? That's some twisty tangly karma there, isn't it? Isn't it?

Into The Mine

2011-11-22T21:18:00.001-05:00

Between 2245 tonight and 1500 Friday I'm going to work 48 hours. It's going to be a long week. I'm grateful for the overtime, because it looks like after December's check I should have everything I need for my trip including a nice gift for Gurudeva. After that, any more OT I can get is play money for any other trips I want to take or things I want to get, stuff like that. But this was the important part.

It's still going to be a long week. But someone's got to get in there and mine that salt. It doesn't mine itself.

A Prayer

2011-11-20T22:16:00.001-05:00

2011-11-19T04:52:00.001-05:00

Mightier

2011-11-17T20:41:00.001-05:00

The pen is indeed mightier than the sword, but only if you are able to express yourself coherently and rationally with a good vocabulary that you must under all circumstances be able to spell and punctuate properly. (I don't insist so heavily on proper grammar, mostly because mine is essentially worthless.) All that being said, here are some of my favorite words.

accoutrements
noun
1.
personal clothing, accessories, etc.
2.
the equipment, excluding weapons and clothing, of a soldier.
Also, especially British , ac·cou·tre·ment.

Origin:
1540–50; < Middle French accou ( s ) trement. See accouter, -ment

falafel
noun
Middle Eastern Cookery .
an appetizer or snack consisting of a small croquette made with fava-bean flour or ground chick peas, seasoned with toasted sesame seeds and salt, often served in pita bread.
Also, fa·la·fil, felafel.

Origin:
1950–55; < Arabic falāfil, derivative of filfil pepper

obfuscate
verb (used with object), -cat·ed, -cat·ing.
1.
to confuse, bewilder, or stupefy.
2.
to make obscure or unclear: to obfuscate a problem with extraneous information.
3.
to darken.
Origin:
1525–35; < Late Latin obfuscātus (past participle of obfuscāre to darken), equivalent to Latin ob- ob- + fusc ( us ) dark + -ātus -ate1

obtund
verb (used with object)
to blunt; dull; deaden.
Origin:
1350–1400; Middle English < Latin obtundere to beat at, equivalent to ob- ob- + tundere to strike

extrapolate
verb, -lat·ed, -lat·ing.
verb (used with object)
1.
to infer (an unknown) from something that is known; conjecture.
2.
Statistics . to estimate (the value of a variable) outside the tabulated or observed range.
3.
Mathematics . to estimate (a function that is known over a range of values of its independent variable) to values outside the known range.
verb (used without object)
4.
to perform extrapolation.

extemporaneous
adjective
1.
done, spoken, performed, etc., without special advance preparation; impromptu: an extemporaneous speech.
2.
previously planned but delivered with the help of few or no notes: extemporaneous lectures.
3.
speaking or performing with little or no advance preparation: extemporaneous actors.
4.
made for the occasion, as a shelter.
Origin:
1650–60; < Late Latin extemporāneus on the spur of the moment. See extempore, -an, -eous

The Black Hole

2011-11-15T12:40:00.001-05:00

Spinning, whirling,
Still descending
Like a spiral sea,
Unending

Sound and fury
Drowns my heart
Every nerve
Is torn apart....

-Rush, Cygnus X-1

I Dare You

2011-11-13T09:19:00.004-05:00

Beth posted the following on her blog recently:

Yes, those of you who have no life and therefore have 24/7 to sit and occupy various places, I hope you thanked a Vet today for the sacrifices they made so that you have the freedom to do what you are doing.

THIS IS FOR YOU AND THE REST OF THE IGNORANT.

(NOTE: It has become apparent directions are required. The sentence in blue, above, is a link. Click on it. I guess when I address something to 'the ignorant', I have to remember: 'ignorant' is the key word.)

Go ahead, tell them that they have no life. Tell them they don't care about America. Tell them they don't know what sacrifices are. Tell them they're hippies, Communists, Socialists, people who want to piss on the Constitution and 'destroy this country'. Go ahead. I dare you.

One Thing Leads To Another

2011-11-13T00:07:00.000-05:00

So about a week ago I either cracked or bruised some ribs. I say either because it's hard to tell the difference on plain film, and because I didn't go get them filmed either way. And the reason for that is because whether they're cracked or bruised, the treatment is the same: rest. So what's the point of paying to get it looked at? I wasn't having any symptoms of anything being punctured .. hell, I don't even have any bruising. What I do have is a lot of pain.

Though the standard comfort measure has always been to tape up ribs, the current medical opinion is that this puts you at a higher risk for pneumonia (true nuf) due to decreased respiratory excursion (I went to school for two years just to be able to confidently use that phrase in a sentence). Regardless, I did tape them up today and just made sure I did a lot of that deep breathing type thing, and I've untaped them since I'm hopefully going to sleep soon. It doesn't matter; the pain relief is pretty minimal with the taping. What does surprise me is how long this pain has been going on and how severe it actually is.

But that's not really the issue I'm dealing with. The issue is how this injury is triggering off other stuff. It's been coming for a couple days now and tonight in Walmart it got a little bit snappy and I realized unequivocally that I'm getting sick again. Doesn't it seem like I just got better? I guess it's been a couple months ago now, August or something. So now I have to try to head this off at the pass if I can and the big observation is going to be how am I sleeping. There's a good chance, if I can get my sleep straight, that I won't really get sick, that things will just resolve (though the ribs are going to continue to hurt for a while). But if I can't get that settled then things will start to get worse, and if there's no intervention I'll be wallpapering with faces I ripped off people's heads. Like what came up in discussion in the soup aisle; as my doctor says 'Irritability is a significant indicator for you.' Yes, it is.

As a last resort I've got medication here if I need it. I don't like it and I don't want it but I promised that if I had to I would take it. The thing is that you can't just take it once or twice.. you have to go on like a period of several weeks, and it makes you stupid and sleep like you're dead, and one time in the summer when I was taking it, I got up to turn off the alarm, my pressure fell out and I hit the floor (hard). My head was aching me for days because it seemed like that was what hit the floor first. Anyway, I learned to get up really slowly, but this is not a first-choice path for me. And then you have to wean off it over a period of a couple of weeks.. it's effective and everything, it'll stop you like the disc brakes on a F1 racecar, but I just don't want it unless I have no choice.

The hardest part of all this is watching it happen, knowing it's happening and still not being able to give a 'why' if you get asked why, and really just sitting and waiting around to see what you're going to come up with next, and whether you'll somehow get let off the hook or if you're going to be back on the merry go round.

I never really did realize how something like the pain from an injury could trigger all this other stuff. I guess I never thought about it or never really had a situation that would make me think about it. Also, lately, I've got an injury to the ligaments in my thumb that has really been causing a lot of difficulty just on a functional level, and dealing with that pain too, so when I think about it there are quite a few different things I'm juggling that maybe together could be sufficient to push things over the edge.

So hopefully over the next few days some good things will happen; I have a new brace coming for my hand that is going to completely immobilize the joints involved (IP, MCP, CMC) and allow it to really rest, and that should considerably help the pain; and maybe this rib stuff will settle down and not be an every-breath-hurts thing; and most importantly if I can get my sleep settled down then everything will be okay. It's just a wait and see.

What makes you think..?

2011-11-07T20:39:00.000-05:00

It kills me when I hear these people complaining that the Occupy movement is 'disruptive'.

OF COURSE it's disruptive. Did you think it wasn't supposed to be? And if you did, wtf were you thinking?

PROTESTS are meant to be disruptive. They're meant to be a pain in your ass. They're meant to upset the status quo, to wrench the works, to force people to pay attention. In this day and age of media overload and sensory uber-stim, you have to do something just to catch people's notice for a minute, and how much more to hold it long enough to get them to actually hear what you have to say?

Why do people think this thing ought to be orderly, clean, neat and nice? Call it what it is: it's the beginnings of a societal revolution. That doesn't come with a butler and a whisk broom. These things are born of discontent and of being fed up with the system, and they're about putting those things across. They WANT you to be uncomfortable, to be disturbed, to be inconvenienced. Nothing gets done any other way.

So please, get over this idea that somehow the protests 'owe' it to people to be quiet at night, or to not block a street, or to not take over a park. The protest owes you nothing. If you're average, you owe it, because the goals it will eventually achieve will benefit you whether you approved of it or not. Get over this idea that it's some kind of delicate and cultured calligraphed statement of mild displeasure. It's a PROTEST, and it's not meant to be pretty.

Indecision

2011-11-07T09:23:00.002-05:00

Not sure how I'm feeling about this new template look.

An Ideological Adjustment

2011-11-06T09:33:00.002-05:00

It's not an exaggeration to say that despite the way the word 'Socialism' gets tossed around in America, less than 1 out of 100 Americans actually have an accurate idea of what 'Socialism' is.

Socialism is a big term. It encompasses a plethora of social, economic and political theories. Varying Socialist groups have differing theories, goals, and ways/means to get there; sometimes radically different. The term 'Socialism' has been interpreted, misinterpreted, misallocated, and misused by various political groups through history, and used to represent things that bear no relationship to actual Socialism.

In the United States, it's a dirty word used to describe any political action that you don't like, or in its derivative, 'Socialist', used as a slanderous term against any politician or public figure that supports any action you don't like, or that you dislike in general but don't have a specific accusation for.

Also, in America, the term 'Socialist' also implies anti-Americanism. This is basically the result of generations of brainwashing and mispropaganda dating back to before the Cold War. It represents to millions of Americans something that it is not. Unfortunately, the average American doesn't particularly care about that fact, and would never put in the work to find out for his or herself the actual truth of the matter. The work of Socialists in America to improve the lot of workers (including getting child labor laws, the 8 hour day and workers' safety laws passed) is ignored or glossed over. The Socialist involvement in unionization, which improved the lives of thousands upon thousands of previously exploited workers by giving them more control over their own labor, is forgotten. Socialists were the first group in the country to set up a multiracial workers union, in the 1930's, and have been staunch supporters of the struggle for equal rights longer than any other group. But even these facts are denied by those who would keep the public in ignorance about Socialism, and especially its positive history in American society.

So. Enough for the history. I have been a declared Socialist since 1984. At that time I was affiliated with the Young People's Socialist League, which is the youth division of the Socialist Party USA. I was very active in protesting and in working for the socialization of medicine (just as I am today). So for all these years I've been affiliated with the SPUSA.

I've gotten a little older and my own political views and philosophy have ripened over the years. The political climate of the past few years and in particular the recent OWS movement have made me reexamine my thoughts and what I have decided, after a lot of deep thought, is that I've shifted far enough in my own path to move from the SPUSA to the Democratic Socialists of America. It's a little traumatic, I think, after so many years; but I would be untrue to myself if I didn't.

The reasons for these are several but the primary one is simple. I think that the most important focus needs to be on what we CAN accomplish. Lofty, radical ideals are great, but you can't ask for-or expect-a 180 degree turn out of nowhere. Aiming for the moon is fantastic, but you're not going to get there using a kite. In my mind, it's more important to get where you're going, and if that means taking smaller steps, then that's the better plan; at least you're on the way.

So while my underlying political idealism hasn't changed, I've decided to take what seems to me to be a more practical approach, and go in the direction of some albeit slower progress rather than ideological purity at the expense of any progress at all. Thus my stepping back from the SPUSA and into the DSA. It's just a matter of ways and means. I'm looking for results, and the approach the DSA is taking seems to me to be a more tenable one.

'Socialism' will always be a curse word in America as long as there are people who are willing to lie and propagandize false information about what Socialism is, and as long as there are people who are willing to believe what they're told without independently referencing it. And of course, there WILL always be those people. The focus has to be on education and getting right information out. I think younger generations, who didn't grow up in the McCarthyite/Cold War propaganda machines, will be more open about hearing truth and evaluating it for what it is, rather than what they're told it is. And apart from that, to keep working towards the goal, even if it's one step at a time.

2011-10-27T19:32:00.000-04:00

I can't explain it. You feel well. You think you're all right. And you decide you really don't need your medication anymore.

And everything's okay for a little while, and you're happy, because you think you're done with it for real now, and everything's going to be normal from now on.

And then it all falls apart and you have to deal with the ugly reality that no, you're not well, and you'll never be well, and in fact, you'll be worse as time goes on.

And it sucks.

And here's the problem.

2011-10-23T17:24:00.001-04:00

but in MY world view, you can decide where ALL of your money goes and to whom it helps, without the stupid government as the damn middleman. Really BB, how in the hell can that be wrong where YOU decide where your money goes instead of Obama or Bush or whomever happens to be in Congress or the White House? That is why the conservative way is the only proper way, because everyone has the freedom to do as they see fit, and we aren't in servitude to the government for them to direct my hard earned dollars their way.

And that's basically the problem, although the person who made this comment refuses to acknowledge it. The problem is parity.

What I mean by this is that when all of the funding is coming from private sources, it means that those private sources are going to be giving the funding to those whom they wish to give it to. Now that in itself isn't wrong, but what it does essentially is guarantee that certain (already underrepresented, marginalized, discriminated against) groups are going to be shit out of luck.

You see, when ALL the funding is coming from people who get to decide where ALL the funding goes, then there's no reason why the only people to get the funding shouldn't be people who look like/act like/believe like they do... cause it's THEIR money and they can give it to whoever they want. This means that the homeless folks, the immigrant, the person who follows a different religion, the drug addict, the crack baby, the acutely mentally ill, the profoundly disabled... are going to be even worse off than they are now. Because when ALL the funding gets to go ONLY to those people YOU want it to, then it's easy to completely eliminate funding for anyone you consider 'undesirable'.

There's no parity. There's no equality. There's no protection for those who aren't 'qualified' or 'worthy' to receive help based on people's particular list of requirements for aid-recipients. And that's why there needs to be impartial regulation, and why it can't all be based on 'who' fits into someone's category of 'desirable' or 'undesirable'.

RIP AL DAVIS

2011-10-08T12:46:00.000-04:00

The Autumn wind is a Raider
Pillaging just for fun
He’ll knock you ’round and upside down
And laugh when he’s conquered and won.

Whites Only

2011-10-03T20:53:00.000-04:00

I had a very interesting situation today in which I...

...was mistaken for being black...

...and as a result I got a firsthand experience of discrimination.

It wasn't anything overly blatant or horrible... no one called me names or spit on me or anything... but it was an eye opener.

I kind of think everyone should have this experience. I think everyone, every white person, every white American in particular, should have the experience of what it feels like to be discriminated against by white people for no other reason than being black. Now, there are plenty of white folks that will say, 'oh, I've been discriminated against by black folk and Mexican folk and so on and so on.' No. That's different. It's not the same. This is about white people thinking you're black and treating you entirely differently than they would if they thought you were white. It's not the same thing. It was a revelatory experience, something that's given me a lot of food for thought, and I think if more white people could have this experience it would help them out considerably.

Now, personally I've always gotten a kick out of sort of confusing people in this way. No one really knows where I fit in on the racial scale. Lots of people think I must be married to a black man; plenty think I'm simply a (very) light-skinned black woman; more than a couple think I'm East Indian (with genetics courtesy of the British Raj I suppose) and some just throw their hands in the air. I kind of like this unclassifiableness because it sort of confronts people head on about their own preponderances towards insisting everyone be classified in one group or another. I'm sort of in the 'all' and 'none' categories at the same time. I think it's good for people.

But even with all that, and even with little things I've seen with coworkers and stuff, especially since I've got my hair done, that wasn't the same as this. These are people who don't know me, have never met me before, and.. I don't know, it's just different. I think it was a good experience for me to have. For all my unclassifiableness, discrimination from strangers hasn't been something I've often dealt with, and it was a very strange feeling. I think it's been educational.

Tightrope

2011-09-28T22:33:00.000-04:00

One thing I hate about chronic illness is that the nature of it coming and going makes you paranoid. Any little thing happens and you're wondering, 'is it starting again? am I getting sick again?'

In a way it's almost worse than sickness itself, because it traps you in fear. You're constantly on the lookout for any little symptom, any little tipoff that it might be flaring up again. Of course, if it is, you're damn near powerless to stop it.. though you might be able to slow it down a bit or take some of the bite out of it. But the vigilance, hypervigilance if you like, can be really wearing.

I spent virtually the entire summer sick. It's tiring-you get sick of being sick. Other people who have to live with and put up with you get sick of you being sick. You're frustrated. They're frustrated. You're taking all kinds of medications with all their variegated effects and side effects and evaluating yourself in a hundred different ways every day to see if it's helping, how it's helping, is it worth whatever side effects you have had. I was lucky in that for the most part the interventions were helpful and that I was able to stop the medicine after about six weeks. But I think this past flare was really the sickest I've ever been in terms of severity, and it really does put the fear into you of when will it happen again (because it will, Virginia, it will) and will it be even worse. I don't know, it's kind of like a vicious cycle that holds you hostage to the sickness even when it's quiet. Like you can never get away. Like even 'being well' isn't being well, because that unspoken threat is always there: 'don't worry, I'll be back.'

September and October are historically a tough time of year for me. Most of this month has gone smoothly, mostly because the summer's flare calmed down. But I know it's not gone, and it's watching me, and I'm watching it, and with my birthday in two days and my 19th anniversary in 5, we're pretty much just playing a game of chicken.

Class Warfare?

2011-09-25T09:51:00.000-04:00

Conservatives would have you believe that higher tax rates for the rich equals 'class warfare'.

And middle class conservatives believe this, and echo their masters; that to tax those who make more money than the rest of us equals 'class warfare'.

And as you can see, Wall Street has every confidence that the middle class conservatives, who believe the 'class warfare' propaganda, will fight on behalf of keeping the rich as rich as possible. As protesters fill Wall Street, champagne-drinking aristocrats look down on them, laughing.

This is what the upper class thinks of you, middle class America. They want you to believe that taxing them is 'class warfare'; they want you to believe that unless they have priveleges the rest of us don't have, that they will punish us by not hiring-when meanwhile, the priveleges they have had for years have done nothing but line their pockets further. They want you to fight on their behalf, to champion their causes to the detriment of your own under the mistaken belief that somehow, if you help them, they're going to help you. But in the end, they'll be looking down on you from that balcony, drinking champagne and laughing.

Just Try

2011-09-16T07:45:00.000-04:00

You may not, for whatever reason, to put aside your preconceptions, your subjectivity and what you want to believe because to believe otherwise rocks and undermines everything you've ever believed. But if you can, or if you can try, please do. Put aside your emotions for a minute, and just try.

9/11

2011-09-11T14:04:00.000-04:00

So we're sitting here watching football, which has always, like all sports, insinuated politics and nationalism into itself, never more obviously (in recent years) than today, the tenth anniversary of 9/11.

No one in this house has ever been a red-white-and-blue flag waving, Lee Greenwood singing type person and on a day like today there are questions that come to mind.

"Never forget." Fine. Are you doing something positive with that memory? Are you working to promote unity? Are you working to support your fellow man, be they black, white, Baha'i, Scientologist, Mormon, Vaisnava, Muslim or Christian? Are you working to increase tolerance and understanding across cultures, and unite with all people to stop terrorism?

Or are you busy protesting a mosque in Lower NYC (contrary to what people like to quote, it's NOT at Ground Zero)? Are you busy fostering intolerance and hate against any person who professes the Muslim religion? Have you bought into the birther lies? Have you embraced xenophobia?

You want to remember 9/11? Do something POSITIVE about it. Do something that might actually help to prevent events like this from happening again, not just in America but all around the world. Don't remember people by perpetuating hate; remember them by working to stop these things in the future.

Otherwise it's all just hypocrisy wrapped in flags and false patriotism.

Labor Day

2011-09-05T17:37:00.001-04:00

On this Labor Day I find it particularly ironic that the American Worker is under a concerted attack from the Republican Party. Unions are being dismantled; workers are being stripped of bargaining rights and power. The actual backbone, the actual source of production in this country is systematically being castrated. If the workers try to stand up for themselves, they're abandoned in favor of workers in other countries, who don't have the protections against exploitation and abuse that Socialists and other progressives fought so hard to obtain for all of us.

On this Labor Day it is imperative that the American worker not give up, not give in to the pressures of corporate capitalist America, who are determined to return the working class to serfdom and indentured servitude. It is time for us to realize that the rights our predecessors fought so hard to obtain, the laws that protect workers, that prevent children from being forced to work, that keep corporations from grinding workers like sausage meat, are in danger. States are trying to repeal child labor laws, and make it legal for children of all ages to work unlimited hours regardless of school. Michelle Bachmann wants to eliminate the minimum wage. The GOP and the Tea Party support cutting taxes for the wealthy and for corporations at the same time as they want to cut funding for social assistance programs that will leave thousands and thousands of children languishing hungry and with less opportunities than they have now. We need to realize that the time is now to fight back; that we all need to stand together against this attack, for the good of all of us.

Seriously

2011-09-01T10:15:00.001-04:00

I am so incredibly sick of people. In general.

Janmastami Preparations

2011-08-14T16:51:00.002-04:00

This year we're celebrating Janmastami at our house. (I say we because Scott is actually going to be involved cooking for the Deities! and taking me to visit the Sri Venkateswar temple in Cary.)

The reason we're celebrating at home is because the celebrations at the temple tend to freak me out. There are too many people, too many things going on, too much hot weather, too much to look at and hear and do. I always want to get involved in more cooking service than I can handle and the entire thing always sends me into a dangerously high anxiety. A couple of times I've basically had plans to go, freaked out at the last minute, and spent the day at home miserable. This year, with me having been sick all summer, it just isn't a smart idea for me to even make the attempt. So instead, I've been planning a really nice weekend of service and celebrations and I'm really excited about it all.

Besides making lots of preps for the Deities I'm making Them a flower outfit. Because I got a little taste of how to do this in Dallas I thought I would try it. I'm going to make the outfits out of rose petals (since that's what I did in Dallas) and also because, let's be honest, I have a budget to work with here. So I think I can do a nicer job with rose petals than with anything else. The whole temple room will also be decorated and there will be nice bhajans playing all day, no non-devotional distractions.

Since unless you're a devotee or Indian-born you probably don't know what I'm talking about, here is some information on Janmastami.

What is Janmashtami?

Janmashtami commemorates the the earthly appearance of Krishna, who is described in India’s sacred writings as God Himself. One of the biggest religious festivals in the world, it is celebrated by nine hundred and thirty million people around the world--and two million in the US alone. To devotees, it’s Christmas and New Year’s in one, a day of deep spiritual renewal and celebration that effectively finishes an old year and begins a fresh one.

So remember that whatever way you worship Krishna on Janmashtami, He will reciprocate with you accordingly. It’s a meditation that makes for an extremely rewarding devotional experience.
Back to top

How is Janmashtami Celebrated?

Where Vaishnava temples exist, festivities begin before dawn and extend all day until midnight, the exact moment of the anniversary of Krishna’s appearance. Events include kirtan, singing the Lord’s name along with other devotees; and japa, private, more intimate prayer. Some devotees cook a feast of over one hundred dishes, while others perform drama and dance. Some clothe and decorate the deity of Krishna while others string enormous flower garlands and other decorations for the temple. Incense burns, scriptures are read, and all but the young and the infirm fast all day. The deities are also bathed with a variety of auspicious liquids in a kind of ablution
ceremony called abhisheka. Sometimes taking over two hours, this is performed with great pomp.

Finally, at midnight, priests pull apart the curtains to reveal the
freshly dressed deity of Krishna on a creatively festooned and colored
altar. The excitement builds, and a rousing kirtan ensues.
Back to top

How to Celebrate Janmashtami at Home

Brought to you by Krishna.com

But what if you don’t live near a temple? What if you can’t make it to a major celebration Does that mean you can’t observe Janmashtami? Of course not. It is our sincere devotion that pleases Krishna most, and this can be offered anywhere. So to help you feel more connected to the Lord and His devotees on this special day, here are Krishna.com’s tips on how to celebrate Janmashtami at home:

Invite all your friends and family to participate in the festivities.
Decorating your home for Krishna can be fun, particularly for children. Encourage them in helping to make garlands, hanging balloons and festoons of leaves, and generally making the house beautiful for Krishna’s appearance.
Get a copy of the Vaishnava Songbook and choose some of your
favorite bhajanas(devotional songs in praise of God) to sing. Krishna, also known as Murlidhara, or “one who holds the flute,” loves music. And so will your friends and family, as you take turns singing and playing instruments. Alternatively, play bhajan CDs and heighten the spiritual atmosphere.
You can also chant extra rounds of the Hare Krishnamaha-mantra on your japa mala (prayer beads). This is an intimate one on one exchange with Krishna, and makes you feel much closer to the Lord.
Read the story of Krishna’s advent and other exciting pastimes from Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead or Srimad Bhagavatam, Canto Ten. Pass the book around, and try dramatic readings to bring the story to life. Janmashtami is all about completely immersing yourself in thoughts of Krishna in a festive way.
If you have Radha-Krishna deities, get extra special new outfits for them. Exercise your creativity and pay special attention to decorating their altar.

Recreate the temple program and hold an abhisheka bathing
ceremony for your deities. Simply buy different liquids like yogurt,
honey, ghee and fruit juices and bathe the deity with them while
singing devotional songs.
Temples prepare at least one hundred and eight different food dishes on Janmashtami. Of course, you don’t have to go that far, unless you’re feeling particularly energetic! But it’s always nice to cook some very special preparations to offer to the Lord. Imagine that Krishna was actually right there, in your house—what would you offer Him? This makes for a wonderful meditation while cooking on Janmashtami.
Have a midnight arati (worship ceremony) with a
kirtan. This is the exact time that Krishna appeared on this
planet, so it is most auspicious and spiritually inspiring. If you
have arati paraphernalia, then you can do a full offering. If
not, don’t worry–Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita, “If you
offer Me with love a leaf, flower, fruit or water, I will accept it.”
So offer whatever you can—it’s your love and devotion that matters.
Tune into Krishna.com’s webcams and watch the festivities going on at some of ISKCON’s major temples.
Buy a special gift for the Lord. You can wrap it and write a card to Krishna. Here are some gift ideas:
If you have Deities you can buy or make jewelry, new clothes, garlands, peacock feathers, turban pieces, flutes or water cups
Incense
Fruit basket
Offering plate
New picture frame if you worship a picture of Krishna
Brand new arati set
If you are able to fast from food, fasting until midnight is recommended. If fasting is too difficult, then try to eat only light foods during the day. By putting our own needs aside and concentrating more on Krishna’s, we show our love for Him.
You can engage your children in many of the above activities. Depending on your children’s ages, they can help cook, make garlands, design a birthday card, play musical instruments, dance and chant Hare Krishna. There are many children’s books about Krishna as well as DVDs of Krishna pastimes at the Krishna.com store.
Children also enjoy dressing up as Radha, Krishna and their associates, and re-enacting Krishna’s pastimes. This helps to create a very festive mood.

As you celebrate Janmashtami, remember that just as we enjoy the attention and fun on our birthday, so the Lord also enjoys our attention and gifts on His appearance day. The difference between us and Krishna is that He is able to reciprocate perfectly with each one of us. In the transcendental realm, everything that we offer to the Lord with love and devotion will benefit us unlimitedly, and those benefits will stay with us for eternity.

La Tienda Hispana Local y Ensalada de Nopales

2011-08-04T13:14:00.000-04:00

Ever since I came home from Dallas I've been looking for a local source for nopales. Before I go on, what are nopales? Wiki knows all:

Nopales (from the Nahuatl word nōpalli for the pads) are a vegetable made from the young cladophyll (pad) segments of prickly pear, carefully peeled to remove the spines. These fleshy pads are flat and about hand-sized. They can be purple or green. They are particularly common in their native Mexico, where the plant is eaten commonly and regularly forms part of a variety of Mexican cuisine dishes. Farmed nopales are most often of the species Opuntia ficus-indica, although the pads of almost all Opuntia species are edible.

Okay. So I've been looking for nopales. Now, you have to remember that 10 miles from here is as local as it gets, and that's just our tiny town. I went to Oxford (25 miles) and hit up the tiendas there, but I couldn't find any. Then I discovered that we have our own tienda right in town! Tienda Hispana La Veracruzana. I was surprised and exceedingly pleased to find it was cleaner and better stocked than either of Oxford's tiendas and over the top thrilled to find NOPALES! They're in the upper right corner of the picture. It's funny to me because so many people here grow prickly pears but I'd bet no one eats them, and they're actually really tasty (kind of like asparagus dressed with lemon). Anyway, this was such a relief to me, because I was starting to think I was going to have to go to the barrio in Durham, and that's 90 miles round trip-I can't justify 90 miles in gas for a couple of pieces of cactus. Even if I was going to Little India too, that's just too far with gas prices the way they are these days.

So what do you actually do with nopales? When I was in Dallas, my friend Manasi Ganga (who is from Mexico) gave me a really nice recipe for a nopales salad. I embellished it just a little today because I was so damn excited, and actually it came out muy fabuloso (picture on right). So without further ado here's Manasi's Nopales Salad With Extrapolations:

Take one nopal, clean it good and cut it up into small pieces. If you are lucky enough to be able to buy fresh nopalitos (cleaned and cut up before you buy) then I would use maybe half a bag. Put them to boil. They should cook until they're about olive green in color (mine in the picture are a hair undercooked), maybe 15-20 minutes. Meanwhile, cut up a tomato, a handful of fresh cilantro and a few hot peppers. Put all this in a bowl with salt and pepper to taste. Take a can of black beans, rinse them well, and add to the bowl. Cut corn off half a cob (raw). I used some really nice Silver Queen that I got at the farmers' market. You could use nice shoepeg or regular frozen corn if that's all you have. I wouldn't use canned. By now your nopales are ready. Drain and rinse well. Nopales are a little bit like okra in the slime department, but not quite as bad. Let them cool a little and add to the bowl. Mix well. Dress with both lemon and lime juice and a little bit of olive oil. Then chill.

I made a wrap using this salad with a whole wheat tortilla, a little shredded lettuce and a little shredded cheese. I'm not very good at the wrapping part but it came out really, really good. I think it'll even be better after it's sat a while.

It would be nice served with a little rice and some avocado slices, but that was too much for me to eat, so I just had a few chicharrones de harina to go with it.

Enjoy!!

Me These Days

2011-08-02T20:02:00.000-04:00

Working the box braids. I love them. These were put in on June 26 and they still look good. I have an appointment on September 2 to get them redone. I anticipate keeping them for a long, long time. He loves them too :) A funny thing that's happened since I got them put in: it seems that people who don't already know me have some difficulty determining my race. This has happened with both black and white folks, and quite a few of them, so it's not an isolated phenomenon. That's got to be the greatest thing I've ever heard: blurring the racial boundaries with something as simple as a hairdo. It's also been a very interesting time watching people who do know me react. People don't realize their reactions; they're so quick and so reflexive that they don't even know what they've done. It's been an education watching them. Anyway, the consensus is that I'm somewhere between white, black and (east) Indian. I'm down with that.

Foodie

2011-06-30T12:11:00.000-04:00

As you know, I'm obsessed with food. I do a lot of cooking, and I'm part of a group on Facebook, mostly devotees, dedicated to cooking, recipes, and food in general.

One of the things we all do is post pictures of things we cook. It's inspirational and also completely humbling, because these pictures here are totally amateur compared to what you'd normally see there.

That aside, here are some things I've recently made.

Above is a supper; tomato and avocado, hominy casserole (I would not make that again) and pintos with okra and tomatoes served on a half a tortilla. That I absolutely would make again because it came out completely amazing. This is all served on one of my toddler plates because that's how I eat.

To the right is a closeup of a vegetable soup I made with all the bits of things I had in the fridge. I also added some TVP beaf and for the stock I went with Maggi cubes and a little Marmite.

This is a vegetable pot pie I made last night with celery, carrots, corn, peas, mushrooms and potatoes in a creamy gravy. The pan is lined and topped with biscuits. At the last minute I threw in a little TVP beaf. Probably the next time I will use some fried cubed tofu. This really came out better than I had expected as it was my first attempt at something like this.

Scratch pizza is a staple in our household and I make it at least once a week. Usually there will be some kind of topping on at least one half of the pizza (my favorite is pineapple and jalapeno) but when I made this pizza there wasn't really much in the house to work with. I always make it on a cookie sheet because he can really eat some pizza. And I discovered that using parchment makes a huge difference.

Here's a typical multi-course lunch for me. I use one-cup bowls and generally they will only be filled about halfway, and even then I usually won't finish everything. From the top left is a toasted tortilla, some pepitas, mixed fruit with chile pepper and lime, diced avocado and Spanish rice with the unfortunate addition of a vegi hotdog. Vegi dogs are really good, but not in this case. They need to be grilled til they blister, and then smothered in cheese, ketchup, and mustard, and rolled in a tortilla, just like I'd do with a regular hotdog. When you do it that way they're totally rockin... but really, they're not made for this. I didn't finish this whole meal, but it certainly was pretty.

On today's menu is grilled watermelon (yes, grilled) and vegetable soup with marinated tofu. For tomorrow's lunch I'm making f'egg salad and probably something with noodles in it. I'm working an 8 day stretch starting tomorrow so I won't have a lot of time for cooking. Thankfully I still have vegi dogs and also some vegi sausages (Italian and breakfast) left and they don't take much time to cook and make nice wraps. I have discovered I have to plan meals in advance because it can be complicated having variety in small quantity, but with some thought I can get it done.

Enjoy your lunch.

With Liberty And Justice For Some Of Us

2011-06-26T14:29:00.000-04:00

It strikes me as so very funny, and so much a look into right-wing mentality, that the same people who want to uphold the Constitution and 'defend freedom' really, in truth, only want to uphold freedom for those people who want the same things they do.

Take gay marriage.

The Christian Right and other Rightwing members will go to any lengths whatsoever to create arguments and reasons that gay people shouldn't get married.

So it's okay for them to have this freedom, but not okay for gay folks. Because it doesn't agree with their opinions.

It's all okay as long as it agrees with what they personally want or benefit from. Otherwise you can forget about that 'liberty and justice for all' business. This has gone on since the beginning of the United States, with various groups being put into the category currently, in this discussion, referring to gays. You can pick any one of dozens of groups; at one time or another their freedoms were restricted, because it didn't fit in with what was deemed 'American Family Values'. Never mind the fact that it's supposed to be 'liberty and justice for ALL'... it doesn't work that way in America. It's liberty and justice for those who agree with the Right.

Living in the material world

2011-06-12T20:01:00.000-04:00

I'm just working hard at keeping at least one foot in the spiritual world.

In Our Garage Today

2011-06-11T16:14:00.000-04:00

Pictures From Dallas I/II

2011-06-06T18:50:00.003-04:00

These are on facebook and so are these. If the links don't work for you let me know.

Heading to Dallas!

2011-05-23T16:06:00.000-04:00

ISKCON Dallas

Sri Sri Radha Kalachandji

I will be in Dallas from May 25-June 2 to visit and also to celebrate my Guru Maharaj's Vyasapuja (Appearance Day). This trip is a lot of firsts for me: the furthest I've ever been away from home by myself, the furthest I've ever been away from Scott, the first time in 26 years I'm getting on an airplane, the furthest west in the US I have ever been, and the first time I'm going to one of Guru Maharaj's Vyasapuja celebrations.

It will also be the first time for me meeting Godbrothers and Godsisters.

And the first time I'm meeting some folks I've only known online for many years.

And the first time I'm getting to see Sri Sri Radha Kalachandji.

I'm amazingly terrified.

It'll all be okay.

2011-05-17T07:03:00.000-04:00

Jesus Was A Socialist

Real. Nurse.

2011-04-15T16:58:00.000-04:00

At work, 15 April 2011. People think it's 'retro'. Really it's about having some pride in your profession and what it is you do. And about recognizing how hard you busted your ass to get the privilege of wearing that cap and that school pin. And remembering that there's a responsibility that comes with nursing that no other responsibility is quite like. And putting yourself forth as the professional you are, and getting the respect you deserve for it.

2011-04-02T08:27:00.000-04:00

There's a lot going on lately with me working so much overtime to get what I need for this Dallas trip (and I am still about 16 hours short) and with everything else going on.. it's springtime and I'm needing to get the garden going. Peas are in and I'm waiting on carrots just a couple more days.. yesterday I went out scavenging and got all my bean poles to make bean teepees. I did this by going out where Piedmont Electric (our electric co-op, yes I said co-op, we don't have an 'electric company') did road maintenance and picked up some really nice and straight stuff that they'd cut back. So, free. And I'll put the teepees together with zipties.

What else is going in the garden? I don't remember if I've listed this before and I'm too lazy to go look, so: peas, carrots, radishes, zucchini, cucumber, lettuce, butternut squash, giant butternut squash, pole beans, peanuts, sunflowers, artichokes, and hot peppers. And potatoes. I think that's everything. I'm not doing tomatoes unless I buy a couple plants, and there's a long sorry story attached to that which I'm not going into.

Anyway today I'm going out to lunch in Cary with my friends Gaurangi and Rohini.. we're going to an Indian restaurant and then to the fab Indian grocery right next door (I need just a couple of things, oh God please let me get just a couple of things and not tons of things). I hardly ever go out, especially somewhere like lunch with the girls so this is going to be fun.

It's nice, I have this weekend off. OT is getting thin at work since we hired some new folk but I think I can get the hours I need.

So I'm going to leave a picture of Gurudeva for you. I'm sorry I haven't been more up on the blog but you know how things get in the way. There's so much I could write on the state of politics these days (Republican is synonymous with Fascist and more so every day..) but I am currently writing cookbook reviews for another blog and that takes up some time too. There's just a lot going on right now.

Women! Who Are Beautiful

2011-03-06T16:01:00.001-05:00

I love these women. I love them because they have self-esteem, because they don't care about societal norms, because they have fun and show it. I love them because I wish I had the kind of self-worth and self-love that they have.. because they get out there and do it. They wear beautiful fluffy Swan Lake tutus with titties bouncing all over the place.. they show boobs in bras.. they wear tight little flapper outfits and they just have at it like it's the last day of their lives. And I so admire that, and I think every last one of them is absolutely gorgeous, and I wish I could meet them. This is probably one of the most fabulous, beautiful, and utterly over-the-top campiest things I have ever seen, and I've seen it a hundred times.

Subji Pulao

2011-02-23T20:46:00.000-05:00

With working within a crazy schedule, I only cook once or twice a week anymore, in quantity, and after that I work off leftovers. It's the only way I can seem to make any sense of meals and make sure that I have enough stuff to eat without eating the same thing five times in any given day.

One of the things I like most when cooking is coming up with something new that uses what I have in a fairly creative way. I had some leftover rice (from my last 'big quantity' cooking) that was just plain and was going to turn sour if I didn't use it, so I decided to make this dish, which has turned out to be enough for about six my-size servings. I'm not sure what to call it so I dubbed it 'subji pulao'. Pulao is Hindi for 'pilaf' and 'subji' is kind of a generic word for a vegetable-type dish. Anyway, I don't know how bonafide my Hindi is here, but there you go.

In the kitchen I'm kind of a loose cannon and don't measure anything but I will try to give some approximate quantities as I go.

You can use any vegetables you want. Here is what I used:

1 potato, peeled

1 big carrot, peeled

1 big mushroom

about 1/4 of a big onion

about 1 cup frozen mixed broccoli, cauliflower, yellow carrots

1/2 cup green peas

1/2 cup thinly shredded cabbage

Other Ingredients:

Chora Vadi-these are small balls of spiced, ground blackeyed peas that have been dehydrated. Vadis, aka wadis and badis, are made from various legumes (dals) and can be bought in any Indian store. They're optional but they're nice to use.

1/2 cup or so of raw cashews (you could use peanuts)

About 3 cups cooked rice

In a frying pan put a little olive oil and salt, and saute your vegetables. Once they're almost but not quite totally cooked set that pan aside.

In another frying pan put a little olive oil. Break the badis into pea-size pieces. Fry them for a few minutes in the pan until they turn a reddish color. To the pan then add the rice and stir fry it all together with the badis for a couple of minutes.

Add the badis and rice to the pan with the vegetables and stir it all around. Put it on low heat and let it cook for a little bit. Don't let the vegetables burn or scorch.

Wash out your frying pan and put it back to the stove. Melt about 1-2 tablespoons of butter (DON'T BURN IT!) in the pan. Now you're going to make what's called a 'chaunk', 'tarka' or 'chaunce'. To the melted butter add: 2 tsp mustard seed, 1/2 tsp cumin seed, 1/2 tsp turmeric, 1/4 tsp hing (asafoetida), and 1/4 tsp red chile powder. Fry this all up for a minute or so stirring constantly so it doesn't burn. Throw your cashews into the pan and let them fry just a bit.

Pour your chaunk into the pan with the rice and vegies and mix it all together. Throw a little of the rice into the chaunk pan and swirl it around so you don't have a lump of spices left in the frying pan. Then add that back to the big pan and stir it all up so the spices are evenly distributed through the pulao.

You could have this also with a little bit of hot Indian pickle on the side. I think a lime pickle or possibly a carrot pickle would go very nicely. You could also serve it with some plain yogurt (thick Greek yogurt is best) on the side.

Enjoy.

Packin N Stackin

2011-02-23T17:17:00.000-05:00

Well, the Dallas clock is ticking and I am packing and stacking the overtime like a lunatic. Next week I have a 3 day stretch where I'm going to work 44 hours, and then finish out the regular full time workweek and THEN pick up 18 hours in homecare.

The whole thing is that I'm going to Dallas in May to see Gurudeva. And that isn't free. So the money has to come from somewhere and the easiest way to do that is for me to pick up overtime and/or get and work a second job. So I'm doing both.

So anyway, all of my time now is sucked up into doing all these things. In a few days I'll be walking around in a haze wondering what day it is. I am relegated now to doing big cooking once a week because I don't have time to cook every night to make my lunch. Everything here is stripped to bare essentials for me because it feels like every minute is previously accounted for.

I'm not complaining per se. This is the best of all possible reasons to work oneself half to death. And hopefully by the first of May I'll be finished and I can rest for a couple weeks before I actually make the trip. Meanwhile, if you want to know where I am.. I'm at work.

2011-02-19T17:58:00.000-05:00

I hate when he goes out of town.

Make Me Laugh

2011-02-16T05:01:00.000-05:00

Something that really makes me laugh are people who can't stand being challenged, or even worse, having their statements pointed out as irrational, unreasonable, unfactual or just plain wrong.

These are folks who live under a rock, the trolls under the bridge, the isolated, who are only comfortable with people whose opinions (irrational, unreasonable, unfactual or just plain wrong) agree with and validate their own.

Diversity of thought, or God forbid, irrefutable arguments against their beloved, dearly held conclusions is terrifying to these people. And the result is, when they can no longer continue to defend those conclusions, rather than admit defeat and concede that the other side might be making some good points... is to eliminate the evidence and run away.

Diversional tactics. After a little while, in which it's hoped everyone will forget the previous embarrassment of having their opinions decimated, they come back and begin again.

And eventually, they'll be pinned again into a corner of logic they can't escape from, and they'll eliminate the evidence and run away.

That's terribly sad to me, that rather than accept the validity of an idea different than their own, people would rather just hide the proof and run away. How smallminded, how afraid of independent thinking can you be?

However, it happens. You see the proof of it.

On the one hand, it makes me laugh, because rationality and logic, in one sense, win the day. On the other hand, it's very sad that a person can't accept that points other than their own preconceptions and beloved right-wing propaganda is anything less than the Word come down from the Holy Trinity of God, Limbaugh, and Beck.

Free thinking is anathema to these people. That's the saddest thing of all.

Second Breakfast: I Don't Like Bananas

2011-02-15T09:26:00.000-05:00

I have never liked bananas, but last night when we were in the grocery store (and starving) I spotted bananas for 52c/lb. Somehow they looked so good. Scott even said to me, 'Why are you buying bananas when you hate them?' but I only bought two. So this morning it was time for second breakfast and there are the bananas and I know I have to use them or they'll turn... but what to do with them? I came up with this. It hasn't made me a banana fanatic, but it came out good.

1 banana cut into 4ths lengthwise then halved
peanut oil (use more than you think you should)
amchur powder at least 2 tsp (be generous. You could possibly use tamarind powder in a pinch.)
garam masala at least 1 tsp
little salt
shredded coconut

So heat up your oil until it's almost but not quite smoking in the pan (I don't deep fry though you possibly could for this recipe.) Lay the banana pieces gently into the pan. You want them browned on both sides. Be gentle when you flip them because they will get quite soft and they do seem to soak up a lot of the oil. Additionally, they tended to stick even in my nonstick frying pan.

Once they've got a bit browny and with the thinnest of crusts on them (the inside will still be mushy so be careful turning them), sprinkle them with the amchur powder. I love amchur and so I used a lot and still could have used more in my opinion. Then sprinkle with garam masala, which I also love. Fry them for just a few more seconds until the spices are cooked and the banana pieces are a bit darker brown. Transfer to the bowl, add just a little salt and top with shredded coconut.

Variation: you could deep fry these if you like. Also, if you wanted to, you could go sweet with this and use cinnamon and sugar. But bananas are inherently sweet and I thought the savory option was a better way to go.

The Kitchen Orgy

2011-02-06T14:13:00.000-05:00

Today I decided to cook for the whole week. I just went pretty nuts in the kitchen and spent all morning making different dishes, most of which I've never made before. I had no real plans when I started, but what I ended up with was:

Rosemary Roasted Potatoes. I made a couple of mistakes with these but overall they came out well. The rosemary came from our front yard. This didn't have a recipe, but I could use some practice regardless.

Cornbread. This is self explanatory. I did butter the top and put it under the broiler for a minute to make it toasty. Recipe from 1001 Muffins with some eggless modifications.

Kitri. This is a sort of pilaf or stew made of mung dal (beans), rice, vegetables and spices. I don't make it often and this time I actually quartered my favourite recipe (in Adiraj's The Hare Krishna Book Of Vegetarian Cooking) and left out the tomatoes and potatoes entirely. Otherwise it would have just been too much.

Mediterranean Sushi Rolls. These were initially supposed to be dolmades, stuffed grape leaves, but I was going to use sushi rice in my sushi press because that would hold better. To make it 'mediterranean', I added oregano and other spices to the rice, and some lemon. But when I dug the grape leaves out of the fridge, they were a bit too elderly for safe human consumption. Thus the nori wrap. These are quite good regardless but in a funny twist, from a couple of feet away they look exactly like Snickers. I don't have a recipe for dolmades or sushi rolls either.

Black Bean And Butternut Chili. This recipe came from Vegan Planet with some modifications. The biggest problem I had here is that I should have pressure-cooked the beans. I cooked them for about forever in a pan and they still aren't as mushy as I would like. It tastes pretty good, though.

Dhokla With Tamarind Chutney. This is actually two different preparations. Dhokla, or more accurately, this is Sooji Dhokla, is a fluffy steamed cake/bread made from sooji (semolina), yogurt, chilies, and a few other things. It gets steamed in a pan in the pressure cooker (without the weight) and then dressed first with a roasted-fried sesame/mustard seed/chili topping. After that you have the option (take it!) of adding different chutneys. My favourite with dhokla is tamarind chutney. Tamarind is the same tree that carob comes from and is a sort of tart/sour flavour. Tamarind juice gets cooked with jaggery (palm sugar) and spices until it reduces from 2 cups to about 1/2 cups. It complements the dhokla perfectly. I got both of these recipes online. There are several cookbooks in my collection that have more elaborate, traditional dhokla recipes that involve grinding dals and hours of fermentation, and various varieties of tamarind chutney, but I was very pleased with the results.

Of all the preps here the one I was most disappointed in was the black bean chili. I'll probably end up picking the butternut out and just eating that.

Lojong Verses: Offered by HH The Dalai Lama

2011-01-28T07:44:00.000-05:00

By thinking of all sentient beings
as even better than the wish-granting gem
for accomplishing the highest aim
may I always consider them precious.

Wherever I go, with whomever I go
may I see myself as less than all others,
and from the depth of my heart
may I consider them supremely precious.

May I examine my mind in all actions
and as soon as a negative state occurs,
since it endangers myself and others,
may I firmly face and avert it.

When I see beings of a negative disposition
or those oppressed by negativity or pain,
may I, as if finding a treasure,
consider them precious, for they are rarely met.

Whenever others, due to their jealousy,
revile and treat me in other unjust ways,
may I accept this defeat myself,
and offer the victory to others.

When someone whom I have helped
or in whom I have placed great hope
harms me with great injustice,
may I see that one as a sacred friend.

In short, may I offer both directly and indirectly
all joy and benefit to all beings, my mothers,
and may I myself secretly take on all of their hurt and suffering.

May they not be defiled by the concepts
of the eight mundane concerns,
and aware that all things are illusory,
may they, ungrasping, be free
from bondage.

Anxiety

2011-01-25T05:06:00.000-05:00

We have all known that Gurudeva's health is not so great for a couple of years now. This past year he spent some time in the hospital in India and the doctors have really told him very strongly that he needs to cut down on travelling and working so hard all the time.

So really it wasn't a huge surprise in some ways to hear that his annual North American tour has been cut down to pretty much just one place: Dallas. It was, however, a big surprise to hear that his Vyasapuja (birthday or appearance day) celebration would be held there instead of in Russia like it usually is, and that Gurudeva's doing four days of seminars and focusing a lot on his disciples while he's there. Something in the tone of the entire email really made me think twice and I'm feeling very strongly like it's important for me to go.

This all sounds easy enough until you stop and think about who's talking. I'm not very much of a traveler and when I do go anywhere it's generally by car and to someplace non-urban. I've not been on a plane since 1986 and I haven't ever been west of the NC/TN border. Pile all that up with the potential for me to be doing this alone and you have a recipe for a complete meltdown.

Dallas is a huge city and the temple is not in a good part of it. I won't have a vehicle so I'll have to depend on other people to get me from point A to point B (and make sure I don't miss my transportation). I don't really know many people there and I haven't heard a name of anyone who might be coordinating or facilitating for all the disciples that will be swarming in. The thought of a plane is terrifying to me.. I'd like to take the train but that's the most expensive way to go. I don't think I can deal with a bus bathroom. See, that's the other thing.. dealing with sharing bathrooms and food and all of that. So much anxiety. The plane would be easiest in a lot of ways but I don't think I can handle doing that myself so I am hoping to talk someone into going with me.

And of course I need to come up with money for all this so The Dallas Work Marathon has begun. Today I'm going to re-activate all my stuff with the other agency and hopefully they can have me working this weekend. I'm going to need something like $1500 if I want to have enough money to manage. This isn't going to be easy. I do feel, though, that it's a very important thing, so at least I have the chance to get on it early.

I hope someone wants to go. The plane would be cheaper and quicker too. I just don't think I can do that by myself.

Obtunded

2011-01-15T05:39:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I truly marvel at what passes for logic and rationality in this country today.

For example, there are those that believe that since there is not a direct A/B relationship between the Arizona shooter and political rhetoric, that you can't mention them both in the same breath.

I can only take this to mean that those persons don't have a problem with the violence of the political rhetoric in this country.

It's not very bright. In fact, it's obtund. These are intellects that just refuse to engage in any rational discourse that might perhaps indicate that their chosen gods and heroes (the Becks, Limbaughs, Palins) have possibly got areas that need rectification.

As far as I'm concerned, there's two facts here. One, the shooter was tragically unbalanced. Two, political rhetoric in this country is way over the top, far too violent, and far too encouraging of violence by supporters. Are those two things necessarily related? I haven't said they are. They are, however, both true. A violent incident against a congresswoman that resulted in the death of innocent bystanders is, as far as I'm concerned, a good time to bring up the tone of American politics. My brain is not so track-dependent that I can't think outside an A/B relationship... which is where, I suppose, people are finding their difficulty.

I don't know. I don't think I believe that these people are that stupid. I think that really they just don't want to admit that their Dearly Beloveds are way off the chain in the hate they spew on a daily basis. If they admitted that, then their heroes might be in the wrong, and that can't possibly ever happen. That's the real issue, I think, here, because I just can't imagine that any rational and reasonable person wouldn't think that American political rhetoric is some of the most vile, hate-filled, violence-encouraging trash ever spewed in this country.

That would bring me to the inevitable realization that ration and reason are in no way universal traits.

If people can't bring themselves to admit that political talk is way out of control, and that real, productive communication cannot come in a violent environment, then I can only draw the conclusion that they're neither rational nor reasonable but living in an insular, self-defined, delusional fantasy world where 'the other' is 'the enemy', where 'different' is 'bad' and where 'dissent' is only something that 'we' can do against 'they'. It's dangerous. It's unfortunate. And it's the truth.

Responsible Politics

2011-01-11T09:06:00.000-05:00

The recent shooting in Arizona of a congresswoman by an obviously mentally unstable person has brought up all kinds of thought and talk about the way political campaigning and the general political climate has become itself violence-directed and incite-to-riot.

Many people noted during the last election campaign the preponderance of violent imagery and rhetoric by many of the candidates involved against their opponents. In some cases, supporters arrived to public political events with semiautomatic weapons. At other events, supporters in the audiences responded to candidates by yelling statements like, 'Kill Obama', 'Lynch Obama', 'Assassinate Obama' and so on. While citizens do have the right to carry weapons, and to voice opinions, is it responsible of the candidates involved to not speak out against these things? Do politicians bear no responsibility to (at the very least) discourage violence towards the opposition by their supporters? At several of these events, the candidates, by their reactions and statements, appeared to encourage the violent anti-opposition sentiments voiced by their supporters with responses of their own.

Little has changed in the post-election climate. 'The Loudest Voice' tactics eliminated the opportunity for people to get information at town-hall meetings; anything a speaker tried to say was simply drowned in shouts. Those who came to learn and understand the issues at hand had no opportunity to do so, because those who would oppose did not allow the information to be presented. Gun imagery, crosshairs placed on congressional districts, along with exhortations to 'reload' not 'retreat', does little to foster a civil discourse.

At the time, pleas for candidates to scale it back, to tone it down, to not encourage the violence, were slammed as 'liberals wanting to take away free speech'. The Second Amendment was brought into play. Walking around with an assault rifle at a public event became glorified as some kind of conservative, patriotic, back-to-the-constitution ideal, along with the unspoken threat of resulting violence against the opposition.

Other supporters at events were physically beaten, even caught on video. The candidates at the events never spoke against the violence that occurred at their events.

Silence is tacit approval.

It is past time for politicians to take responsibility for their words and their presentations. They should be calling for civilised discourse, rational and reasonable dissent, the exchange of ideas on a peaceful, nonviolent level with the goal of working for the good of all. Instead what we have devolved to is a culture of implied (and some more explicit than not) violence as a means to a political end within our own country, and politicians refusing to speak against such things even when actual violence is the result.

It's time to change it.

2011

2011-01-03T12:25:00.001-05:00

So it's another new year and I guess what I'll do right now is wrap up last year right quick and then make a couple of comments on what I'd like to see this coming year.

In 2010 I:

-had my one-year anniversary working for the State.
-watched my baby Jakari trade in his beat up dysfunctional body so he can get a new one.
-lost 85 pounds.
-celebrated 18 years of marriage to the same guy.
-realized how tenuous human life is as my husband got in a huge wreck which he walked away from.
-was given the opportunity to reevaluate our priorities, goals, and means when he got laid off.

In 2011 I:

-have the opportunity to rededicate myself to the Things That Matter: Krishna, family, home.
-have the chance to really be a huge help to my husband as we get through this layoff thing.
-would like to continue to lose weight and be at my goal weight by Janmastami (August 22).
-would like to begin a serious reading program.
-would like to chant more seriously and thoughtfully.
-would like to begin a serious exercise program.
-would like to go back to Gita Nagari and New Vrindavan.
-would like to visit with Gurudeva when he comes to the US.

Everything happens for a reason. It seemed on the surface a pretty shitty way to end the year with a layoff right at Christmas but it's all good in the end. There's an opportunity in here that just has to be found. Until it is, I'm glad I have the skills and ability to support us and to take the pressure off him. This is, as I say, when all that school investment (and really I mean the emotional price we paid more than the financial, though that was high too) becomes worth something. And I'm happy to have the chance to help. For things, play money, stuff that I want, or to have a donation for Gurudeva, that I have a second job for. For most of every day stuff I can cover almost all of it myself. And I'm getting into seeing how much money I can save on things like groceries. I even downloaded a freeware budgeting program so I can track it. This might turn out to be a really, really good thing, because everyone knows how much I hate to deal with money. I've been kind of approaching it as a game, though, and I think that helps.

I sort of have mixed feelings on the year to come. Freefloating anxiety is never too far away for me in the right contexts ($4/gal gas is enough to make me nervous, f*n Republican assholes) so I would be lying to say I'm bright and shiny about it all but what I actually am is confident that it will all work out for the best in the long run. And five years from now we'll be looking back on it saying that it was a great thing and a lucky break that it happened as it did and all that. So while the road might not be totally smooth, I feel certain that there's no 'BRIDGE OUT' sign up ahead.

Post Christmas

2010-12-29T09:15:00.002-05:00

Truck sat for 3 days and fired right up.

So on Christmas some weather came in and I ended up staying at work from Saturday 6AM until about 1230 on Monday. (One of the second shift nurses was kind enough to come in early so I could go home.)

Staying over and stuff is kind of par for the course when you're a nurse.. it's one of the things you get used to, the machine runs 24/7 with all the cogs or without them, and you just do what you have to do and pray that your relief has 4WD. Or you do like me and stay. Actually I didn't want to stay, but Scott was concerned enough about the weather that he personally packed up everything (well, not everything I needed, but he tried) and brought it to me before the snow started. And of course the job is happy to have you stay. This place has some really nice facilities for people to stay in. Down in the dental clinic they have couches, a nice shower, every kind of toiletry item, fresh linens especially packed up for inclement weather (with fluffy pillows) and in the back room where I staked out there's a microwave, a fridge, a toaster oven and all that. And a tv, but I didn't use it. Anyway, point is that there are worse places to stay.

The biggest problem for me was really twofold. One, my gut has to be pretty pampered and kept on routine and so on, and all I had to eat was microwave Asian noodle things (which I like very much, don't get me wrong, but not as a sole diet item), pretzels, popcorn, and Tropicana Diet Orangeade. Two, I am living proof that Social Rhythm Therapy is a valid treatment modality and the minute you screw up my schedule/routine I fall to pieces. So between my gut eventually fomenting a rebellion (a mighty embarrassing one, I might say, and hysteria-inducing because I was sharing a bathroom and only had limited clothing options) and my mental equilibrium getting rocked with the sudden lack of schedule structure, it wasn't really good.

The Infirmary Gazebo. I eat lunch here a lot.

Reading this makes it sound like I was there a week and it was just two nights. Maybe if I had been better prepared, had better things to eat, I don't know. It was certainly enough to screw my gut up and once that happened my whole mental state went into a tailspin. The one didn't help the other, let's say that. Could it have been avoided? Maybe, to some degree. Two nights really isn't all that much.

Anyway, I came home on Monday and I'm off now until Tuesday the 3rd, so it's a good thing. I've been working on getting into my normal eating patterns and sleeping patterns (still off a little, but getting closer) and I can feel a huge difference already. Last time I saw the Clinical Crusader I was telling him how totally dependent I am on this SRT stuff and how my routine is my everything and he is just so pleased by that, because it's one of his pet treatment options and I guess it's still somewhat controversial. He said he ought to hire me to teach a group on it. Uh.. I don't know how to do that, and wouldn't it be conflict of interest? But hell, if I can, I would.. it'd be something else to put on my resume. The point is that for me, any screwing around with my routine has the potential to really mess me up. It doesn't mean I can't be spontaneous and stuff.. it does mean I have to be careful about it.

Anyway, the snow is very lovely and all. Our driveway is barely walkable. Our road is bad only in the shady spots where it is very bad indeed. Paved roads are good, again, except in the shady spots where you just have to keep your eyes open. Getting around isn't an issue.

Looking towards the main entrance from our ramp.

I would really love to go hit up the after-Christmas sales but I don't know, with us trying to save money and stuff, maybe it's not such a good idea. I'm trying to make do with everything we have here. We really do have so much stuff that isn't used or hasn't been used. I found some beautiful Turkish wool that I bought ages ago, never made anything with.. I'm trying to make little sweaters for the Deities with it. It's gorgeous stuff.

And I've been doing a lot with audio books. I am really, really digging the audio books. I just got Chaitanya Bhagavat; all three volumes for $12 and it's like 30 hours of reading time. The only problem is that it didn't transfer onto my Shuffle in the right order so I have to twiddle with it to get the chapters correct. Anyway I like it a lot.

The last plan I have for sometime today is to plant radishes. Indoors. I have this crate that I got somewhere, can't remember where. I'm going to line it with a garbage bag and fill it with soil, then plant radish seeds and put the whole thing in front of our kitchen window. The indoor temp here hovers between 65 and 67 (saving money!) so the radishes should be thrilled to grow. I'm looking forward to springtime and this is a nice way to do it. Plus I have the seeds anyway. If I can get them to grow I'll post pictures.

That's it. I'm going to go knit and listen.

On The Threshold

2010-12-18T07:38:00.000-05:00

Since we had bad weather the other night, on Thursday I decided to spend the night at work. (They actually have a complete setup for this kind of thing and it was positively presidential despite me sleeping on a couch.)

About 8PM Scott called and his first words to me were 'I don't want you to be upset.' Well, duh, once you hear that you know something terrible is about to be said.

He had gone out to get cigarettes in the company truck, and on the way back, about a mile and a half from our house, a Suzuki Sidekick lost control on the ice and slammed into him.

Scott wasn't hurt at all, but as you can see, the truck is totalled. The guy in the Sidekick broke his leg and his nose, and did something bad to his hip, and ended up being taken to Duke.

Of course it's hard to call your boss and tell him you just totalled his truck, even if it wasn't your fault (and the police report verifies this).

He's pretty traumatized. We were supposed to go to see his mom this weekend in Virginia and he just can't really bear the thought of driving with the chance of bad weather coming down. It's okay. I've been in some really bad wrecks where I got pretty seriously hurt (depressed skull fracture) and I know I didn't want to drive or even ride in a car for a while.

While we were talking on the phone, I pointed out to him how incredible it was that a little tiny Sidekick could total an F150, and how it was amazing that he was only a mile and a half from home, and that it was even more amazing given the wreck that he didn't get hurt whatsoever, and that none of it would have happened in the first place if he hadn't just HAD to go out and get cigarettes. Then I mentioned that maybe, just MAYBE, this was a sign from Krishna telling him to quit smoking and get it straight. He more or less agreed.

When I got home in the morning, he told me that he'd done a huge cleaning in the temple room. I was really surprised.. and then he said, "Maybe it's my way of saying thank you."

It's so funny that here's a man who would never admit to these kinds of realizations and sentiments, but who will do practical work that shows otherwise. And I think that's enough. They know. And he knows. And I know, but I'm not making a big deal out of it, because it's between him and Them.

Although this situation did, ultimately, turn out for the best in that he wasn't hurt and that everything will be alright (the guy did have insurance, so everything will be covered financially), it does give you some new perspective on things. Prabhupada came to my thoughts, and the way he spoke about death:

Everyone is on the threshold of death. That's a fact. But such questions are made amongst them... Everyone is subject to death, and threshold, on the threshold of death. Nobody can say that "I shall live for so many years." No guarantee. Everyone is on the threshold of death. Any moment, we can die. Therefore it is said,"As sure as death."--ACBSP

And There It Is

2010-12-14T12:46:00.000-05:00

There's a lot going on this week and today in particular. I already practiced bass, worked out so that's taken care of, and I went to town and visited briefly with a friend and dropped off some presents at her house before running to the grocery store to get a couple of things (not much) and one of my prescriptions and then came home.

Now I have to do some laundry, make cheesecake cupcakes (I've never made these before but I make a kickass cheesecake so how hard could it be?), work on today's soup, think about what I could make for supper, pick out what I'm wearing tomorrow, colour my hair and make a few phone calls, which I should do first before I forget to do it.

It's really frickin cold out there. I mean like 20. I have virtually no winter clothes and any clothes I do have don't fit me anymore. And I refuse to buy new ones until I'm done dropping all this weight because in another month they won't fit me anymore. So now I'm wearing both my winter coats to work in the morning (one over the other because they're THAT big) and just running from the truck to the building because it's REALLY FRICKIN COLD OUT THERE.

What else? I should send out holiday cards but we don't have stamps. I could probably write them and address them but it's not a huge priority for me today. We'll see if I get to it. Otherwise it can wait.

I hate this high pressure time of year. I hate the cold too. Can't do anything about either so it's just a matter of sucking it up and carrying on.

One thing I have been doing is planning next year's garden. There are two considerations to the plan; one is that I can't eat raw vegetables in quantity like I used to and the other is wanting to get into lots of stuff for winter storage. So far the plan includes: radish, peas, carrots, cucumber, butternut squash, tomato, potatoes, hot peppers and sweet peppers. I bought a package of parsnips for the first time ever today (I have never had them) and if I like them I'll grow those too. In fact I am going to try to grow some radishes in the house this winter. If I have time I will set it up today but it might have to wait with everything else going on. I think they'll grow with the temperature the way it is inside right now. Anyway, the variety of tomato I'm getting is a paste tomato and the idea is to can enough sauce and tomatoes for the entire winter. This is going to mean about 60 plants, I think, and at least a whole weekend if not more of canning, which is damn hot work in the kitchen. I have a big outdoor cooker thing that attaches to a 20lb propane tank and if I can get a new burner/regulator I can use that. Canning is a real chore but it makes you feel so productive when it's done. We will probably need 80-100 jars to get through it, which begs the question where do you put all those jars? And to that I say deal with it when I actually grow them and manage to can them.

The hot peppers are mixed varieties in one pack and what I want to do with them is put them in my front flowerbed amidst all the historic roses and make them into some sort of edible decorative thing. I have no idea how this will work or if it will look like a white trash landscaping job (minus the white-painted truck tire planters, omg), and I don't know what the plants are going to look like, but what the hell, why not.

That's all I can think of right now and I should mention at this point that it's a good thing I type 75wpm because this is one busy day.

Eating Her Curds And Whey: How To Make Paneer

2010-12-12T18:14:00.001-05:00

One of the things I've learned to make since I've become a devotee is panir. Panir is fresh cheese. It can be used for multitudes of things, including sweets. Basically you can use it in anything. It doesn't generally get eaten raw; it's used in dishes, like a meat substitute.

Nothing could be easier than to make this. First, you take your milk. You want to use whole milk for this. I have been using raw milk and it rocks. At least you need whole milk. Use at least a quart for this. Half gallon is better. The panir in the picture was made from a half gallon of raw milk, curdled with citric acid, pressed for about an hour and a half in a press and yielded 9.5 oz. Less pressing would have increased the weight due to more fluid volume. This panir is quite solid and will be great for frying.

Put it in a VERY CLEAN saucepan. Everything with cheese must be VERY CLEAN. If you're a purist, use stainless steel. If you're me you use nonstick because the milk will scorch somewhat no matter how much you stir it.

So you're going to boil it. While it's heating up, choose your curdling agent. I have found that the best thing for me is citric acid in water. You can use all kinds of things; vinegar; lemon juice; buttermilk; yogurt.. you get the idea. You really just want to add enough that it curdles, and rinse it good.. but we're getting ahead of ourselves here.

When the milk boils, you're going to stir it in one direction and slowly pour your curdling agent in. Turn down the heat to low. You will see the curds begin to form and there will start to be a thin greenish whey. If the whey isn't clear(ish) then add more curdling stuff. Stir slow so you don't break up the curds. Leave it for a few minutes over very low heat; this will make the curds more firm.

From here you will spoon them VERY GENTLY into a colander lined with either cheesecloth or a floursack towel (what I use). I always pour boiling water over the cloth first to make me feel like it's sterile. Anyway, the curds go gently into the colander. Then you rinse them for a few minutes under cold water. This will get the taste of the curdler out (a very good idea esp if you use vinegar..ew). Then at this point you have some options.

What you need to do is get the rest of the whey out. This can be done in different ways; you can tie the cloth so that it hangs from the faucet and let gravity do its thing for about an hour.. you can fold the cloth over the curds and then put it underneath a heavy pot full of water to add weight to the pressing (leave it about an hour). It really depends on how soft do you want your cheese. If you're using it for sweets then it has to be softer. If you want to deep fry it in chunks it needs to be firmer. I have just gotten a cheese press and that makes REALLY firm cheese, but before that I used to use my big spaghetti pot full of water on top of the cheese, and I'd let it all sit in the sink and just drain for an hour or so. You have to watch that the pot sits square on the cheese.

When it's pressed for a while, take the weight off, unwrap it and voila, you have panir. You can use it in a million recipes and it tastes great. The other day I made a chili-like soup and I put chunks of panir in it. You can batter dip pieces and deep fry them, or you can pan fry them like cutlets... there's really no end to what you can do.

Anyway, panir will keep for just a few days in the fridge but indefinitely in the freezer.

And what to do with all that whey? Well, you also have options here. You can use it in soups (half and half with water), you can cook vegetables in it, you can water plants with it, you can feed it to your animals, or you can make a very nice lemonade out of it (yes, lemonade). Whey should be stored like milk and if you think it's bad, don't take a chance, just dump it. But it's a useful thing and if it's fresh you should take advantage of the nutrition there.

Enjoy making your panir. Enjoy eating it more.

Workin It: Six Months Postop

2010-12-10T06:45:00.001-05:00

So all this time I've been dropping weight and I know I haven't been losing it probably as fast as a lot of people and probably not even as fast as the doctor would want, although it's been six months today and I'm down 82 (yes, eighty two) pounds. I've had such a textbook, fabulous, perfect recovery and several people, nurses I know, have gotten interested in the possibility of having the same surgery (BPD/DS) based on what they've seen with me.

I'd recommend this surgery to anyone; it's working so well and I feel like my quality of life is a hundred times better and more normal than someone who gets a RNY or a traditional GBP. I mean, after that surgery your stomach is ONE OUNCE. Who wants to eat out of a medicine cup for the rest of their lives? I can eat normally (just in smaller portions), I can tolerate virtually anything (except, so far, broccoli and asparagus), and if I eat the same way I've always eaten, not using a lot of fat and keeping my gut flora good with yogurt, I can eliminate some of the common side effects people complain about. The other common side effect is gas, which of course can be extremely painful, but I have found that I can get rid of it virtually 100% with a little Beano. So I keep that with me and all is well. Beano, actually, isn't vegetarian, and I've had some real issues with that, but for the moment I'm looking at it as a medication I really have to have to maintain, and I've found a vegetarian substitute that I've just ordered, and if it works, I'll be switching over to that.

Now, one thing I do warn people is that though I did have a perfect recovery, I had no comorbidities going in. No hypertension, no diabetes, no oxygen, no congestive heart failure.. none of the common things that happen to fat folk, especially as they get older. I have a good surgical history and I had my gallbladder out in 96, which made this surgery somewhat easier. (I'm also on the younger side and compared to the ordinary person who has bariatric surgery, smallish.) Any way you look at it I was a great surgical candidate and for someone who's not, who has existing problems, I'd feel very guilty if they didn't have a recovery like mine. So I'm very careful to explain that to folks.

Anyway, so now I've virtually nixed any chance of developing diabetes, I won't get high blood pressure, my cholesterol rocks, I don't have to worry about sleep apnea, my joints will be better and my cardiac and respiratory functions have a lot less work to do. Is there a downside here? Oh, yeah. The downside is that I can't drink carbonated beverages, I can't tolerate broccoli or asparagus and I have to take Beano. That's a hell of a downside.

But besides all this, and besides the statistics that talk about what a great surgery this is and how most people keep their weight off forever and all that, if you really wanna rock it, you gotta work it. Like everyone (except a few freaks) I hate to exercise. But there are two things I really enjoy: one is my Dance Dance Revolution, which I've had for a long time and STILL go back to (I just finished a 40 minute workout.. on 'light') and I like Zumba. Really I'm not coordinated enough for Zumba but it's fun and I just do it slow when they speed it up. It's still fun and I love Latin music.

So this morning I got up (even without the clock) at 0415 and I decided that since I have some stuff to do today I'd work out. It was fun. I feel good. I've got another 3 pounds to lose before the end of the month to hit my goal for December 31 and I'm hoping I do it. I still have a long way to go but damn I feel good, and I can honestly say after six months this was one of the very best decisions I've ever made. Truly it's changed my life for the better, and I'm not even near where I want to go yet. There IS no downside here. It's just better and better every single day.

2010-12-09T16:44:00.000-05:00

The Lord said to Mahäräja Yudhistira, "The first installment of My mercy toward a devotee is that I take away all his possessions, especially his material opulence, his money." This is the special favor of the Lord toward a sincere devotee. If a sincere devotee wants Krsna above everything but at the same time is attached to material possessions, which hinder his advancement in Krsna consciousness, by tactics the Lord takes away all his possessions. SB 10.88.8 purp

If somebody wants to be actually devotee of Krsna, at the same time, keeps his material attachment, then Krsna's business is He takes away everything material, so that cent percent he becomes, I mean to say, dependent on Krsna. So that actually happened to my life. I was obliged to come to this movement to take up this very seriously. And I was dreaming that "Bhaktisiddhänta Sarasvaté Thäkura is calling me, 'Please come out with me!' " (pause) So I was sometimes horrified, "Oh, what is this? I have give up my family life? Bhaktisiddhänta Sarasvaté Thäkura is calling me? I have to take sannyäsa?" Oh, I was horrified. But I saw several times, calling me. So anyway, it is by his grace I was forced to give up my family life, my so-called business life. And he brought me some way or other in preaching his gospel.-ACBSP, LA, 12/13/1973

So this human form of life is especially... It is given by nature to realize God. If we don't utilize this human form of life to understand ourselves and God and our relationship, then we are committing a suicidal policy. Our, this Krsna consciousness movement is just an attempt to educate the foolish human civilization without any sense of God. Our life... As we are spirit soul, we are evolving through many species of life, and if we don't take advantage of this human form of life, then we are missing the chance. Without God consciousness or without Krsna consciousness there cannot be any peace. Everyone is hankering after peace, but he does not know how to achieve peace. Therefore the Krsna consciousness movement is the greatest welfare activities in the world, and we request everyone to take advantage of this great scientific movement. -ACBSP, Paris, 6.26.1971

Why Things Happen

2010-12-06T16:16:00.001-05:00

Losing Jakari was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I'll never 'get over it' but you just have to 'get past it' and carry on, because life's like that.

I remember the first time I lost a patient and being just hysterical over it, crying and crying, until the charge nurse (who became a nurse the year I was born) dragged me into a corner and told me to shut up, because I had six other patients who were still alive and needed to be taken care of.

At the time I thought she was hateful and evil, but as time passed I could see she was right.

So we get past these things as best we can. Sometimes people get angry, want to question things, don't understand. Sure, this could happen with Jakari. Here's this little baby, born with a fairly routine heart defect who undergoes surgery, there's an accident, now he needs a ventilator to breathe, and so he has a trach and a feeding tube and dozens upon dozens of ICU admissions from complications, and more surgeries, and more admissions, and finally at two and a half years old gives up his body to go get a new one.

Sure, you could be pissed off about that if you wanted to be. You could decide there's no meaning, that there's no God if you wanted to. You could spend months and years looking for 'reasons' and maybe never come up with answers that satisfy you. Sure. That could happen.

But it doesn't have to happen.

There are plenty of reasons things happen, but they're not all ours to know. That's when you just have to trust that there IS a reason, whether you know what it is or not, and that there's Someone smarter than you driving the bus, Who's fully capable of making the right decisions even when you think they aren't the right decisions.

We can understand the situation in the light of karma, realizing that bad karma from previous actions resulted in events that came to fruition in this lifetime.. and we can take comfort in the fact that the bad karma was paid for so quickly. We can also understand that the spirit soul is eternal, never dies, and gives up the material body like a set of old raggedy clothes in order to get a new one. So we can feel happy that Jakari left his old body behind to get a new one.

And we can simply come to grips with the fact that whether we like it, whether we understand it, whether we're happy with it or not, the Supreme Person is in charge and knows better than we do, and that He's always, always right. It's not always for us to know 'why'. That's where the trust comes in, and the faith to say, 'Okay, I don't like this, but okay.' It might not be easy, but it's the way to find peace in hard situations.

Sarah Palin... again

2010-12-04T10:12:00.002-05:00

Will the believers claim this is another 'left wing media' attempt to pick on Sarah Palin. Probably, despite the fact that it's HER show and HER words. Those with clearer, more rational vision will see this for what it is: two media whores out to make a buck. Who's next in her quest for ratings.. the Octomom?

Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin go camping

Sarah Palin’s Alaska” saw a major drop in ratings after its first episode aired, but we're guessing next Sunday's show may spark a bit more interest. A guest appearance by Kate Gosselin and her eight children can’t hurt, right?

The December 12 episode of Palin’s TLC reality show features the two famous families as they embark on an Alaskan camping trip.

"She’s going to rely on me to protect her," Palin says of Kate, who shares that she has never camped for real.” The look of horror on Kate's face as she watches the former governor shoot a rifle gives her away.

"Our ruggedness is really a mystery to people in the lower 48," Palin adds with a smile.

More Lies From Glenn Beck

2010-12-03T17:15:00.001-05:00

"This town (Wilmington, Ohio) hasn’t taken any money from the government. They don’t want any money from the government."

Glenn Beck on Monday, November 22nd, 2010 in his radio broadcast

The man is a liar. Plain and simple.

Before The Cattlemen's Lobby

2010-12-03T04:58:00.000-05:00

2010-12-02T19:47:00.002-05:00

God and bad things happening...

2010-12-02T17:22:00.002-05:00

Na kartrtvam na karmani lokasya srjati prabhuh [Bg. 5.14]. Now you can ask that "If Krishna is giving sanction, then He is responsible for my bad work also. Good work, of course, He is responsible. So bad work He is also responsible." Now, here the answer is Na kartrtvam na karmani lokasya srjati prabhuh . Prabhu. Prabhu means the Lord. The Lord does not create work for you, neither He creates the result for you. Na karma-phala-samyogam svabhavas tu pravartate. Svabhavas tu pravartate.

As you have acquired your characteristics, so you create your own work and you create your result of own work and you become entangled. It is not the creation of God. You create. "How I create? If it is sanctioned, if it is controlled by God, then how I create?" The question may be. Yes. The answer is very simple. You can understand that a person who is criminal, who is condemned. Now he's condemned to death or he is condemned to be imprisoned. Now he makes appeal that "Oh, excuse me, what was done(?)." But the judge puts him into the jail or condemns to life. So he thinks that "The judge has condemned me to death or the, he has put me into jail." But is the judge enemy of a particular person that he puts somebody into the jail and condemns to death?

No. I have created. I have created my jail life before. The judge is simply giving me the direction. "Oh, you have done this. Now you have to go." He is not responsible. Similarly God is not responsible for my work, neither He creates my work. It is my nature, it is my characteristic, which, by which I create my work, I create the result and I suffer. God simply gives direction because He is the supreme director. Or the agent of God.

So He is not responsible. I am responsible. I am responsible. But if I become Krishna consciousness, if I act on His account and completely becoming dependent on Him then He is responsible for everything happening. That is the principle. Any question?

- ACBSP, BG lecture 5.7-13, New York, August 1966

Bhakti Yoga

2010-11-30T20:43:00.003-05:00

This picture is of Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha, in Toronto. I saw this picture when I was first getting into learning about Krishna and I absolutely fell in love with it. I kept going back to look at it again and again and couldn't get over how beautiful They were. I wrote to the temple in Toronto and got a high-res file of the picture because I loved it so much and it's on the altar here in the house. Someday I am going to go see Them, but I don't know when.

The first time I heard this song I was like stunned. It was so beautiful to me, everything about it. I didn't see it on Youtube like this-I just heard the audio. Somehow it sounded familiar (later I learned it was because George Harrison did the music and I had recognized his style). I was absolutely consumed with finding out what it meant, and a very nice devotee emailed me the translation. It's from a scripture called the Brahma-samhita. The translation is this:

I worship Govinda, the primeval Lord, who is adept in playing on His flute, with blooming eyes like lotus petals with head decked with peacock's feather, with the figure of beauty tinged with the hue of blue clouds, and His unique loveliness charming millions of Cupids.

I worship Govinda, the primeval Lords whose transcendental form is full of bliss, truth, substantiality and is thus full of the most dazzling splendor. Each of the limbs of that transcendental figure possesses in Himself, the full-fledged functions of all the organs, and eternally sees, maintains and manifests the infinite universes, both spiritual and mundane.

This song is sung every day, in every ISKCON temple all over the world, every morning during the greeting of the Deities. And this version is the one that gets sung.

When we moved into the new house in 2005, we dedicated a whole room as a temple room. Scott built a whole wall-to-wall floor-to-ceiling altar/bookcases/cabinets for the Deities. These are Sri Sri Nitai Gaura Hari (named by my Guru Maharaj, HH Indradyumna Swami).

If you look carefully, in the front you can also see the tiny brass Deities, Sri Sri Nitai Gaurasundara, who are now in the care of my Goddaughter's sister Syama Gauri. These outfits were my first attempt at making clothes for the Deities and I learned a lot while doing it, especially in how to lay sequins! I really enjoy making clothes and things for Them but I'm not very good at it. This coming year though I would like to learn how to use a bead loom so I can make some beautiful things for Them.

One From Column A, One From Column B

2010-11-29T12:51:00.004-05:00

Overview:

So it's December and there's lots going on, lot of staff shakeups at work with people moving to other places and retiring and being sick... thus giving us a lot of thin days on the schedule... and all kinds of family drama because I'm a nurse and nurses work holidays...

Blogosphere/Politics:

And the typical blog drama about how Sarah Palin is mercilessly abused by those who can't find it in their hearts to excuse her for not knowing whether it's North Korea or South Korea we're allies with... poor thing, they just PICK on her and make up stories out of nothing, damn international liberal communist socialist Marxist Anti-American media Conspiracists hellbent on creating a One World Order... I think they might be the Illuminati. Members of the A&ASR Masons at least.

UPDATE: Here is an interesting compendium of empirically, factually documented mistruths spoken by Mrs. Palin. Notice I said empirically, factually documented.

Home Economics:

And really I'm spending a lot of time awash in milk and making soup.

I got a subversive anti-government-happy-cow-raw-milk hookup and now I get a gallon of the good (illegal for human consumption) stuff once a week. It rocks. Two inches of cream floating on top. Best yogurt you ever had. Cream soups that taste buttery without adding butter. Even makes your healthy fiber-twig cereal taste better. Totally unbelievable. A gallon a week is a lot for two people, so I'm making loads of yogurt and panir cheese as well as adding it to everyfrigginthing I can think of. It's a hundred percent different than anything you ever had. If you can find yourself a dealer... get you one.

Shameless Self-Promotion:

Speaking of soup, I have the soup blog. Go visit it if you like. Every day has a new soup. My husband said I couldn't eat soup every day for a year. Yeah? Watch me.

Agenda:

Since today I'm off my plan is to wrap some gifts, do some laundry, study some Bhagavatam, chant some rounds with Srila Prabhupada (below).

Already made soup. Might make some more for tomorrow. Little basic chores round the house. I need to decorate the temple room for the Deities. I wish I had Christmas outfits for Them. Geez, I wish I had a fabric store that I could go get something to make Them Christmas outfits.

Religion:

One thing I don't get about other religions is their insistence on the 'my way or the highway' thing. The Catholics have always been especially blatant about this as a virtual policy: 'no salvation outside the Church'. Well, that's pretty blunt. But you hear Christians of all stripes claiming that there's no other way than their way. They pull out Jesus's quotes to prove it, and at the same time I can be asking why, if the Bible says 'thou shalt not kill', they participate in the mass slaughter of animals by eating them? Of course, there's always an interpretation for that. But it doesn't say murder. It says kill. So, if you're following Jesus, why not following the commandments? Besides that, why all this Jesus worship anyway? Wasn't he telling people to love GOD, not himself? The whole Jesus thing came about with Paul. In fact, most of what's wrong with Christianity is Paul's fault. That's why so much of Christianity is Paulinism. He was the one who came up with all the stupid rules that pretty much boxed up and put away Jesus' actual teachings. Jesus was an amazing liberal, folks. He was straightforward, to the point, anti-discrimination and had one message: 'Love God.' That's pretty much the whole picture there.

I also get a huge kick out of it when people try to claim that we worship a different God than they do. As if there are more than One? Again, it's that whole different=bad thing. Psychologically, I think the entire world's behaviour boils down to different=bad. People who have no idea (and don't care to know) what we believe instantly assume that we have a different God (no), that we worship lots of Gods (no), and all kinds of other crazy stuff. I have heard amazing arguments out of people trying to justify meat-eating out of the Bible and trying even harder to say that being a vegetarian is anti-Christian. You have no idea the lengths people will go to.

Srila Prabhupada said that we can take Jesus as Guru: Guru is one who leads you to love God. He brings the message to you, the knowledge that gets you out of ignorance. That's Guru. Doesn't change the message in any way, simply repeats it, and asks you, 'Please love God.' That's all. That's Guru. So, namaskar, Jesus Maharaj. Actually Prabhupada always referred to Jesus as 'Lord Jesus'.

Another thing I don't think people take into consideration is the time/circumstance thing. In the same way that they don't teach calculus in the third grade, not all information is given at one time to one group. Instead, it's given as appropriate; for those who have more knowledge, more is given; for those who have less, we start with basics. I think Paul in this context has something he says about giving people milk as if they were newborns. Something like that. So the point is this, that instructions and information that were appropriate 2000 years ago to a group of nomadic Jews is not necessarily all the information there is out there. Those instructions were for them, tailored to their specific situation and to who they were individually and as a group. That's what's called time/place/circumstance. This is where the Guru's intimate knowledge comes into play and he can make the decision about how best to lead his charges onward. But you know, people don't get this stuff.

Summary:

Pick what you like and discuss. Pick what you don't like and discuss that too.

Just Do It

2010-11-27T18:55:00.003-05:00

Go read about soup.

And Her Reply...

2010-11-26T18:43:00.000-05:00

Palin also chastised the media for creating stories "out of thin air."

"Let's hope that perhaps, just maybe, they might get it right next time. When we the people are effective in holding America's free press accountable for responsible and truthful reporting, then we shall all have even more to be thankful for!"

Um.. I've got the audio link right below. It IS her voice and nothing else, so I'm not sure who she's talking about when she says 'thin air' and the media 'getting it right'. The only one who got it wrong was Sarah Palin.

And in case you think maybe the whole thing's being overrated, let's remember that this is the same woman who said she could see Russia from Alaska, and let's also remember that one thing you DON'T want to make mistakes about is who our allies are.

Speaking For Herself

2010-11-25T05:00:00.002-05:00

On GLENN BECK'S RADIO SHOW, so all of you admirers can't blame it on 'liberal media bias."...the entire world is laughing at this woman, and if you don't believe me you can check newspapers all over the world.

Rush Limbaugh: Playing Twister With The Truth And Getting Chewed For It

2010-11-24T15:43:00.002-05:00

Rush to Judgment

You said, “Folks, of all the cars, no offense, General Motors, please, but of all the cars in the world, the Chevrolet Volt is the Car of the Year? Motor Trend magazine, that’s the end of them. How in the world do they have any credibility? Not one has been sold. The Volt is the Car of the Year.”

So, Mr. Limbaugh; you didn’t enjoy your drive of our 2011 Car of the Year, the Chevrolet Volt? Assuming you’ve been anywhere near the biggest automotive technological breakthrough since … I don’t know, maybe the self-starter, could you even find your way to the front seat? Or are you happy attacking a car that you’ve never even seen in person?

Last time you ranted about the Volt, you got confused about the “range,” and said on the air that the car could be driven no more than 40 miles at a time, period. At least you stayed away from that issue this time, but you continue to attack it as the car only a tree hugging, Obama-supporting Government Motors customer would want. As radio loudmouths like you would note, none of those potential customers were to be found after November 2.

Back to us for a moment, our credibility, Mr. Limbaugh, comes from actually driving and testing the car, and understanding its advanced technology. It comes from driving and testing virtually every new car sold, and from doing this once a year with all the all-new or significantly improved models all at the same time. We test, make judgments and write about things we understand.

Chevrolet has not sold one Volt because it’s not on sale yet. It will not sell 10,000 this first model year (although GE plans to buy truckloads for its fleet), because it takes time to ramp up production. See, Rush, because we’re the World’s Automotive Authority, we get access to many cars before they go on sale.
But, harrumph. In its attempt to force cars that don’t use much gas on us — how un-American/un-ExxonMobil/un-Halliburton is that? — the Obama administration is offering a $7,500 tax credit on the Chevy Volt, grabbing tax breaks and credits right out of the deserving, job-creating pockets of America’s richest individuals. How dare he?

This is another of your distortions, Rush, repeated by the otherwise more level-headed George Will in The Washington Post last Sunday. The $7,500 Obama tax credit is an expansion of President Bush’s hybrid credits from the last decade. The Obama tax credit extends to the new Nissan Leaf, too, but if you or Will slammed that car, I’ve not heard or read it. I’d be surprised if you did, though, as Nissan is building the Leaf in a non-union factory in a right-to-work state represented by two Republican senators. A factory located there because Tennessee offered Nissan big tax credits. Maybe you’re worried that if the $7,500 tax credit works, too many people will buy the Volt, and that could reduce the need for oil drilling tax credits?

GM designed the Chevy Volt after its failed experiment with the EV1, which was its attempt to respond to a California mandate. States rights, you know. While Toyota was developing, and eventually selling the hybrid Prius in ever-greater numbers, GM decided to move beyond the Prius-model with a new kind of technology that’s not quite plug-in hybrid, not quite pure electric.

It unveiled the Chevy Volt concept at the 2007 Detroit auto show. That means GM began working on it before the November 2006 elections, when the Republican Party had majorities in the House and Senate, before President Bush had signed a single veto. Bob Lutz, who famously decreed, “Global Warming is a crock of shit,” introduced the car two years before Bush gave GM its first bailout from TARP pocket change. This was two-and-a-half years before Obama’s Automotive Task Force forced GM into bankruptcy.

Thanks to the recently unbridled ability of American and foreign big business to contribute unhindered to their favorite politicians – both Democratic and Republican — you don’t need to worry about rampant left-wing policy coming out of Washington any time soon.

You’ve made two king’s ransoms by convincing legions of dittoheads to tune into you every day. I wonder, do you ever ride in anything that’s not German or Anglo-Saxon? Do you have any idea how powerful IG Metal is, and of the size of Germany’s social safety net?

My esteemed colleague, Jonny Lieberman, got a copy of Will’s hit piece on the Volt, and responded thusly: “A bit of flag waving is in order – but instead, Will chooses to be a partisan clown and gets everything wrong.” You and Will don’t even worry about being un-American, anymore.

All the shouting from you or from electric car purists on the left can’t distort the fact that the Chevy Volt is, indeed, a technological breakthrough. And it’s more. It’s a technological breakthrough that many American families can use for gas-free daily commutes and well-planned vacation drives. It’s expensive for a Chevy, but many of those families will find the gasoline saved worth it. If you can stop shilling for your favorite political party long enough to go for a drive, you might really enjoy the Chevy Volt. I’m sure GM would be happy to lend you one for the weekend. Just remember: driving and Oxycontin don’t mix.

Todd Lassa on November 16 2010 10:48 PM

Freezering

2010-11-21T10:34:00.000-05:00

Having taken on the Soup A Day Challenge, I decided to run to Walmart this morning and see what kinds of produce I could find on sale.

This is a really good time for root vegetables, so I got a rutabaga (just one), a bag of three turnips, and a bunch of three beets. I also picked up some snap peas, two bags of frozen 'soup vegetables', a can of baby corn and three cans of assorted succotash, things with okra in them and vegetarian Hoppin John. (Yes, they sell that in cans here.)

When I got home I launched into mad freezering. I have that vacuum sealer thing that has to be the best $10 I ever spent and a freezer that's only a couple of months old and has tons of space in it, so it was like arctic heaven. All the fresh produce got peeled, cut up and frozen. I also got to an acorn and a butternut squash that have been on the counter waiting for me to be possessed of the spirit. The baby corn and peas (and actually some water chestnuts, I forgot to mention them before) got portioned out and frozen too. See, I generally cook in small quantities because that's how I eat, unless I'm doing something specifically to have leftovers I can freeze. So because of that, I portion things out in like 1-cup sizes to make it easy. Once you get lots of ingredients in the freezer, putting a dish together is practically fast food. Especially if you've got cooked beans or something in there.

I also got a couple of boxes of tiny pasta. I left the stellini alone, but I got ditalini and baby farfalle. Minestrone's been on my mind.

Last week I had gotten a jar of Rotel tomatoes that have habanero peppers in them. They're hot as fire. So what I decided to do was freeze them in teeny portions-in an ice cube tray. Once they were frozen, they went into a bag. This way, if I'm making a tomato soup or something, I can use one or two cubes and it'll season it up without making it hot enough to burn your face off. Plus it stretches that one can to about nine different dishes.

I feel so good when I'm being economical (okay, cheap) like this. But seriously, learning to cook in small quantity is tough. Some of this I really have to do. On a regular night I'll cook two suppers-one for him, one for me. He won't always eat what I make for myself, so I have to think about cooking for one. Sometimes I'll make enough for lunch the next day, but usually it's just the one meal.

Anyway, I'm already working on today's soup, and later on today I'm going to the temple, but I'll try to have the soup post done before I go. We're putting up Christmas stuff too, mostly because I have to work and all coming up. It's turning out to be a busy, productive day.

Pining for the Football; Or, The Great TV Compromise

2010-11-20T15:29:00.000-05:00

Back in midsummer, Scott decided we were going to cancel the DirecTV we've had for like 10 years (in Wilm as well as here). Personally I have never been a TV person so I was thrilled with the idea, but I didn't think he was going to hold out long.

As football season got wound up, he really started pining away for it. Every weekend he was getting miserable. It made me feel so bad I asked him to restart the DirecTV, but he refused.

Finally we bought a small outdoor power antenna and tried it. Because we live SO FAR out in nowhere, we couldn't pick up any signals. We had tried this once when we first moved in, before the digital conversion, and analog signals were absolutely out. All this just made him even unhappier, especially when he was thinking about missing playoffs.

Last week he was out doing some warranty work or something on a guy's house they had built, and somehow they got to talking about the whole TV thing and the guy said he had a digital antenna under his house that Scott was welcome to take. So he just gave it to him for free. We weren't sure how it was going to work.

Reading the roofmount installations seemed like a huge hassle with grounding stakes and guy wires. I remembered as a kid we had the antenna in the attic, and I mentioned it to him. We decided to try it.

The other day he installed it in the west end of the attic and got nothing. Today I talked him into installing it on the east end, but facing south towards Raleigh, and basically aimed down the driveway where there are the fewest trees. Presto, we have 11 channels, mostly in HD, including NBC, ABC, CBS and Fox, as well as a dedicated local weather channel and two music channels. He's so excited he can't stand himself.

For me, I'm just glad he's happy. I don't really foresee us watching much TV during the week; we've kind of gotten out of the habit and there's generally nothing on anyway. But this entire thing has been free from start to finish and it feels like we're back in the 70's with just a few channels. It's good. It's all good.

The Soup-A-Day Challenge

2010-11-20T10:57:00.001-05:00

Last night, I mentioned to my husband that I love soup so much I could eat it every day for a year and not be tired of it. He said, "Oh, you could not."

I can't resist something like that.

So, naturally, I took up the challenge, and decided to keep score-how else?-by blogging it.

The new blog is here: The One Year Soup-A-Day Challenge. There's also a permanent link button in the sidebar in case you forget.

Come visit. This is gonna be fun.

Advice For Nursing Students

2010-11-19T21:34:00.003-05:00

"Learn what this means: In nomine Patris, Filii, Spiritus Sancti, et Praeceptris.* For you, until you graduate, they're pretty much all the same."

*NB: I haven't studied Latin in 25 years with the exception of medical terminology, so I can't completely vouch for my declension of the nouns. The meaning, however, should be clear regardless.

The Insular Mentality; Or: I'm Scared When Everyone Isn't Just Like Me

2010-11-18T15:54:00.003-05:00

This stunning tidbit found on a conservative blog:

And just hearing the news this past year, and having the types of discussions this year, and just not liking how differently people think in this country is so discouraging

There's the insular mentality I talked about before; the mindset that conformity to your own notions, likes, dislikes, way of doing things is the ONLY way, and more than that.... that just BEING DIFFERENT is somehow wrong and not to like.

Of course, diversity is what America is really built on, despite what these worshippers at the Altar Of The Founding Fathers will cry. It's been my observation that these ardent believers, like so many religious groups, take only those parts of the hallowed scriptures that confirm their own preconceived notions and beliefs. Everything is interpreted in the light of what these folks WANT to believe rather than in an objective reading of the holy words.

So.. 'not liking how differently people think in this country'... what does this mean? It means that unless you're 'just like me' I don't like you. It means dissent, disagreement, diversity isn't tolerated. It means I only want people 'just like me' around me, because I don't like when people around me think differently than I do.

This leads me to ask... what do we do with all those different people, the ones who aren't 'just like you'? That's a problem, isn't it? We don't want those 'different' people around... they have to go somewhere, we have to do something with them... pray tell, what should we do? That's a question that people have been answering for centuries. The Clearances and the Enclosure Movement, the Irish Question (conveniently assisted by the Potato Famine), Indoor Relief and the Final Solution are all ways people and governments have faced the notion of what to do with the people who aren't 'just like us'.

This is a dangerous, insular mentality.. one that's really in essence diametrically opposed to what the United States is all about, and one that's deceptive in that it claims to be so patriotic and following the Founding Fathers. For all I know they may have convinced themselves of these things, that they're really following in these footsteps. But an OBJECTIVE reading, one that doesn't bring these preconceptions and this fear of the 'DIFFERENT'... would tell another tale.

Sweet Spicy Hot Vegie Stew

2010-11-16T19:44:00.003-05:00

Had this tonight for supper. Made up the recipe as I went along and it turned out kickass.

Start off with some vegies cut as if for stew in big chunks..

I used a bag of 'vegetable stew mix' that comes frozen.

add about a cup of cooked chickpeas (thank you vacuum sealer freezer thing)

add diced tomatoes about a can's worth (or just use a can)

add vegetable stock enough to make the whole thing cook

Let this cook about twenty minutes then season with

a stick of cinnamon

2 tsp garam masala

1/4 tsp turmeric

some fennel seeds (if you don't like them it's all right)

a couple tablespoons of sugar

a goodly bit of salt and pepper

Let this cook a little while then add

about a tablespoon or so of lemon juice

about a quarter cup of dried berries; cranberries, cherries, blueberries, something tart will be nice, you could use raisins in a pinch

Let it cook a little while with the lid on, then let the lid off. At this point if you'd like it a bit thicker, thicken with your choice of cornstarch, roux, whatever you like best for thickening.

This stew is spicy, hot and a little bit sweet. Very nice with crackers.

Vegetarian Hot And Sour Soup

2010-11-15T05:05:00.005-05:00

Most Asian restaurants, unless they're strictly vegetarian, can't really be trusted to use all vegetarian ingredients. With this in mind, and after gleaning through my cookbooks, I came up with this really killer version of Hot And Sour Soup, and it's 100% vegetarian.

*The picture to the right is commercial hot and sour soup. Yours won't look exactly like this as my recipe doesn't use tofu (necessarily) and isn't thickened with cornstarch.

Start off with some good stock. Homemade is best; do what you like. Swanson's makes vegetable stock in the can, or you could use some vegie bouillion. Put your stock in a 3 quart pot and then add enough water to almost fill it. At this point I used some vegetarian 'Beaf' bouillion, but it's not necessary in the least. I just had it available.

Into your stock you put some vegies. You can alter them according to your taste, but I used celery-about one stalk, halved longways down the middle and sliced fairly fine
mushrooms-the ordinary white kind, sliced
onion-I cut it in rings rather thick, cut yours how you like it
bamboo shoots-I didn't julienne these but it would be nice to
kombu-julienned very fine, see below

What's kombu? It's a type of sea vegetable (seaweed) that's grown, harvested, and dried. I believe from a botanical standpoint it's actually kelp, but don't quote me on that. Some good brands of kombu (also called laver) are produced in the US but mine comes from Japan because it's the cheapest one in the market I go to. All types of seaweeds (nori, wakame, hijiki and others) are edible and they are all remarkably good for you because they're full of calcium and minerals. For this dish I used a piece of kombu about 4x6" dry. Basically you very lightly wipe it off-or not if you don't want to- (it has a whitish coating of minerals from the seawater) and drop it in the soup. After it cooked a while and got tender, I took it out, cut the piece (it expands) in half and julienned it very finely. The easiest way to do this, now that it's tender, is to roll it and then cut it. The leftover went into the fridge to season another soup (using it again is standard procedure if you have extra) and to make kombu relish. Kombu is often cooked along with beans to tenderize them.

Now that we're past the informational blurbs, you let all this simmer for a while. Then you can season it up. I used about a quarter cup of Japanese soy sauce (use the kind you like), about a teaspoon of black sesame oil (I keep things low fat, use more if it makes you happy, but it's heavy and has a pronounced flavour), about two tablespoons of cider vinegar (I would recommend cider vinegar because it has the most flavour, but use white if you must. I wouldn't use wine or rice vinegar in this dish; you perhaps could use malt if it was all you had. No herb-flavoured vinegars!) and a small pinch of exceedingly hot dried Thai red pepper flakes. You can use cayenne or any kind of dried hot pepper really; I would not use jalapenos. Adjust the amount of hot pepper you use to your taste. The Thai pepper flakes are ridiculously hot so I just use a VERY small amount. You can always add more later.

At this point I took some seitan (about three ounces) that I had in my freezer and julienned it very finely and added it to the soup. You could brown it a little first to make it look more like the pork shreds they usually use, but I didn't and you don't have to if you don't want to take the extra step. This is the protein component and you have a few options here. You could use cubed silken tofu, which you'd just add directly to the soup, or you could use the super-firm tofu that comes already cubed. If you decide to go with the super-firm, brown it first in a little bit of oil in a pan. It's not essential, but I think it would be much nicer if you did. You probably could also use some 'smoked' tofu if you had that. Either way, whichever your choice is, add it in.

Asian restaurants will use cornstarch to give their hot and sour soup a characteristic texture. You could do this if you like, but I didn't feel it was necessary for me and just added extra heaviness to the dish. You decide how you'd like it. If you want to use cornstarch, use at least a tablespoon (it might take more), mix it well in a small amount of cold water and then add it slowly to the soup. Stir constantly until it thickens up.

Let the whole thing simmer on a fairly low setting for maybe 20 minutes or so. I have a gas stove so I just turned it as low as will keep the flame lit.

At this point, your soup is done. It doesn't need salt because you've already added the soy sauce and you have totally covered the 'pepper' aspect. You'll be able to smell the vinegar a bit, but this will mellow. So you can serve this as is, very hot, in small bowls.

You could also, if you like, add noodles. This will basically bulk it up and give you some other textures. Because I eat in such small quantity, the addition of noodles is usually something I'll do on the second day (if I decide not to freeze the leftovers) to make a bit of a change.

You can use pretty much any kind of noodle you like. Heavier examples would be udon noodle, lo mein noodle, spaghettini (I wouldn't use any other kind of Italian-style pasta but this) or ramen noodle (dump the little seasoning packet that comes in that 12/$1 ramen and just use the noodle in nice dishes like this). This sort of low-buck ramen, (and who hasn't lived on it?), is pretty high in fat, so keep that in mind. Personally I go for the lower weight kind of noodle: rice stick of varying width or my favourite, cellophane noodle (aka bean thread). You could also if you like use the green rice noodle, which would add some good colour to the dish. Remember if you use cellophane noodle you don't actually have to 'cook' them, just drop them into the pot of hot soup. Rice stick should probably cook a little, but not for long.

This soup is absolutely killer. From a normal person's digestive standpoint, I wouldn't call it exactly 'filling' but you could have it as a starter or along with a stirfried dish or spring rolls, or even, if you don't have any noodle in it, just a bowl of rice seasoned with furikake. It was relatively quick and easy and I felt like it was a very good substitute for restaurant hot and sour soup that generally contains a ton of fat, pork shreds, sometimes eggs and those slimy 'fungi' mushrooms that make me gag. Additionally, it's a good use of vegetables that might be getting a bit geriatric in your fridge, and other items that most people already have around the house (except the black sesame oil, and that's a pretty good investment at about $3.00 a quart if you like Asian food since you will use it in small quantity and it will last a LONG time). And of course it's an economical dish.

This recipe makes right about three quarts. I get at least 6-8 servings out of this depending on how 'brothy' it is.

*I buy all my Asian ingredients (seaweeds, sesame oil, rice stick and other noodle etc.) in an Asian market in Wilm. Any decent size city should have a store that caters to Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Chinese and general Asian residents. It's possible you could find everything in a higher-end supermarket or even a Walmart in a larger city, but it will all be vastly more expensive that way, so keep that in mind.

Enjoy!

Taking Your Ball And Going Home; or, My Way Or The Highway

2010-11-14T03:26:00.003-05:00

Comment found on another blog regarding how America makes progress and gains:

"It has NOT been made by compromise. Compromise does not PRODUCE, people do."

Now you think about that and tell me how a person with this kind of mentality can have ANY relationship with ANY person whatsoever, let alone groups of people... and whether you'd want someone with this kind of hard-line 'my way or the highway' non-discussing, non-compromising, non-willing to consider what works best for EVERYONE versus just themselves to be leading your country.

EVERY relationship whether it be personal, public, governmental, business, etc., if they're successful, are built on compromise. It can't be ONE person's way ALL the time no matter what. That's a selfish, insular, juvenile approach to relationships. It doesn't consider what works best for everyone-or worse, considers that THEIR approach WILL work best for everyone regardless of what everyone else thinks-which would be, now that I think about it, a convenient way to take away the freedom of others to do what THEY would like. "If you don't play by MY rules, you won't play at all."

This isn't the kind of mentality grownups have about things. Talk to any person who's been married any length of time and they'll tell you that a successful relationship is built on-you guessed it-COMPROMISE. It's a fundamental part of healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.

Of course, if you don't care about the 'mutually satisfying' part... OR if you only allow yourself to be surrounded by people who think exactly like you do, and condemn anyone who has a dissenting viewpoint, then this approach might work for you.

However, you can be sure that the Founding Fathers worked together to find approaches and solutions that would work for EVERYONE in the early nation. But most of the people I've found who like to toss around the 'Founding Fathers' ascribe to them only the qualities and actions that fit in with their own personal likes, dislikes, prejudices and so forth. Because if the Founding Fathers believed or did something that conflicted with THEIR personal stand, how could they claim to be 'following in their steps' or something like that?

The thought that compromise doesn't work is the mark of a totalitarian mind. Period. Rather terrifying when you think of it.

Something even more terrifying occurred to me while I was having breakfast: it's entirely possible and probably likely that the person who made the statement above doesn't realize that 'gains' means something more than the material and financial; that 'gains' can be made in social justice and in the progress of a nation on a humanitarian label. The fact that someone could be so wholly focused on the money and the material that they don't recognize this is not exactly amazing, but more like a sad commentary on the mentality of those on the other side of the political fence.

THE OTHER

2010-11-10T10:53:00.004-05:00

Just recently Z posted this in his comments, referring to an unnamed person he had, apparently, been having some conversation with:

Some folks apparently think I should be meaner to liberals like Saty. I'm from the Pam Hart School of Thought though, if you're of the species homo sapiens you're human first and foremost and I think it a good thing to be civil. Now they'll say civil is ok but don't be too friendly, cozying up to the Enemy Camp but I don't see Blogging that way at all. So what was I supposed to do, punch Saty in the nose?

So this got me to thinking that how this very mentality is at the root of so many problems: being friendly to the 'other side' imputes that you might be 'one of them'. It's the old 'guilt by association' thing:

Guilt by association as an ad hominem fallacy

Guilt by association can sometimes also be a type of ad hominem fallacy, if the argument attacks a person because of the similarity between the views of someone making an argument and other proponents of the argument.

This form of the argument is as follows:

A makes claim P.

Bs also make claim P.

Therefore, A is a B.

Example I: Social justice is a philosophy shared by Nazis and Communists, therefore churches that teach social justice are equivalent to Marxists and Fascists.

Example II: George claims deportation is good immigration enforcement policy. therefore, George is a Zionist.

Do these kinds of thought processes seem familiar to you? Have you heard this kind of illogic lately? You must be listening to Fox, Beck, Limbaugh, or perhaps just one of your conservative neighbours. It gets used all the time, and unfortunately, for the less introspective, it passes for truth.

This black-and-white kind of mentality where you cannot have any kind of rational, friendly discourse with 'THE OTHER' without risking one's own credentials with one's peers is a dangerous thing. It's divisive. It decreases communication. It abhors things like compromise or the dreaded 'reaching across the aisle'. It basically posits that in order to remain 'pure' one must avoid at all costs seeming in any way, shape, or form to be able to engage in a rational conversation (about any subject whatsoever, not just politics), because that might be 'too friendly', and if you're 'too friendly', you might, God forbid, become 'ONE OF THEM'. You might not even realize it's happening, because you know they're sneaky and might 'convert' you when you're not paying attention. They're that insidious and underhanded.

Doesn't this sound utterly ridiculous in a clinically paranoid, survivalist, militia mentality kind of way? Kind of like 'not getting cooties' from whoever it was in the playground that was on the social short list that day? "Don't touch him, you'll get cooties!!" Like a highschool kid who loses cool cred with the clique because he isn't hateful to the new kid in class. It IS utterly ridiculous, in a clinically paranoid, survivalist, militia mentality kind of way. But unfortunately, people have this mentality.

I grew up in a household where there were diverse and often radically opposing political viewpoints. It didn't mean that we didn't speak to each other or that we couldn't have a good time playing a game or going out. It meant that we had opposing political viewpoints. My orientation was diametrically opposed to my father's. Neither of us ever thought that if we hung out more we might be 'infected' by the other's viewpoint. It was a bit more rational in my house than that.

Unfortunately, though, this juvenile approach to things has become more common; people are so terrified of 'THE OTHER' that just to engage in communication is enough to raise suspicion that YOU TOO are now AN OTHER. The only way to preserve your own credibility is to be increasingly hateful, increasingly less communicative, increasingly insular and to surround yourself ONLY with those who think JUST LIKE YOU. That's safe. We can't risk trying to talk to THE OTHER... they're trying to steal our children and sacrifice our pets on the black altar of Gay Rights and Socialism, because they hate America and want to destroy it.

And worse than that, if we engage in actual dialogue with THE OTHER, we might find out that they AREN'T demonic, aren't out to steal our children or sacrifice our pets, don't hate America and actually have a few good ideas.

And then we might have to admit that we're something less than 100% perfect, and that THE OTHER is something less than 100% evil... and that would be the worst thing of all.

Pictures from our Weekend

2010-11-08T08:50:00.000-05:00

This photo slideshow personalized with Smilebox

Looking Forward

2010-11-03T04:54:00.002-04:00

This is Kill Devil Hills. We're going here on Friday for a long and luxurious weekend of cold seawater, sand and relaxation. I sometimes miss living at the ocean.. we were there for so many years... but when I sit on our front porch and listen to the woods, I can't imagine living anywhere else. Anyway, I have two days of work and then we're off. Lots of pictures to come.

Squashmania: Ekadasi Soup

2010-11-02T10:30:00.002-04:00

Twice a month, on a day called Ekadasi (the eleventh day after the full and new moon), we fast from grains and beans. This soup is Ekadasi-appropriate and also takes advantage of my current squashfest.

My crockpot is 3.5 quarts. This soup could really be cooked in a larger one, but it's the only one I have. Besides that, because of the way I eat, at least half of the soup is freezer-bound and it doesn't make sense for me to cook enormous quantities.

I cut up one enormous sweet potato that I got from the farmers' market, and half of one acorn squash. I wanted to use the whole thing, but it was just too much. Since I had a little bit of room left I added one small Irish potato because I don't have many left and they're getting a bit geriatric and need to be used up.

To this I added a can of vegetable stock and enough water to bring it to the level of the vegs. Then I added some fresh ginger, about two tablespoons' worth, which is a lot unless you really love ginger. Use a microplane grater so that it will sort of melt into the soup, otherwise you will be seriously surprised when you bite into a hunk.

This soup so far has spent about four hours on low and will spend a good three hours on high. The potatoes and squash break down as the soup cooks so it will look like less. As you get close to done, you can add spices of your choice: I plan on generous amounts of garam masala, a little cardamom (since the soup is naturally on the sweet side), a bit of Thai hot pepper flakes, possibly a little bit of cinammon, a goodly shake of hing (aka asafoetida) and of course salt and pepper. I'm also considering just a dollop of coconut milk.

At that point the soup gets pureed. If you like texture, you can leave some of it a little chunky, but it won't be very chunky cause it'll be broken down. If this was for a regular (non Ekadasi) day, the addition of corn would probably be really good.

Soups and stews are some of my favourite kinds of food to eat. A lot of folks can't imagine making these things vegetarian, and it does take a bit of imagination at times, but you can find great veg crockpot cookbooks and really great veg cookbooks in general. Because we don't eat eggs, I also use a lot of vegan cookbooks (and usually just use dairy whenever it calls for a dairy substitute). If you're willing to experiment a little you can find some fantastic dishes that are both cheap (use what's in season!) and good for you.

2010-11-01T20:57:00.001-04:00

Time for me to read The Origin Of Species again.

REPOST: Dessert as an analogical argument for Intelligent Design

2010-10-28T15:24:00.001-04:00

My feelings on evolution have never been a secret. And I have always had a pronounced fondness for explaining things by analogy, mostly because it's the way I personally work things out in my head; by comparing a situation I understand to one I don't.

So this morning I was reading Richard Fortey's Trilobite! for the umpteenth time, and by extension all the standard thinking on evolution. No matter how many times I revisit the arguments for evolution, and no matter how many times I read over Steve Gould's sometimes rather technical explanations for why it must be so, I can't buy it. I never find any convincing argument why the presence of a Creator (or, if that's too intensely theological for you, an intelligent directing force) is absolutely contraindicated. This being said, I immensely enjoy Fortey's books, as well as Gould's, and I study palaeontology (which takes the theory of evolution as a virtual fact) with more energy than I ever put into any subject I had in school.

Let's take for an analogy something dear to my heart: cake. The analogy won't be comprehensive, and I'm sure anyone, with determination, will be able to reduce it to convincing confetti, but just as a basic reduction, it should suffice to make my point, and, possibly, make you think.

We begin with the simplest of cake: pound cake. The basic ingredients combine to produce a basic, yet delicious result. Everything about the cake, from its components to its shape, reeks of the primitive. As a dessert, it functions beautifully, and can rightly be said to be "successful" in its given "environment".

Let's imagine that I alter the environment to a more elaborate function: a dinner party. The humble pound cake no longer seems quite so successful. The design of the older, more primitive cake needs to adapt to the new requirements of its environs. So I take the basic pound cake recipe, and study it. I realize that by tweaking the proportions ever so slightly, and whipping the eggs a bit more, I can make a fluffier, more delicate cake. I choose a different shaped pan, round instead of loaf-shaped, and in a fit of exuberance I top it with fruit. An impressive dinner party follows: the pound cake has evolved into a new design to adapt to its new surroundings. Everyone loves the new dessert so much that it for the most part replaces the old recipe; certainly, it has its niche in the kitchen ecosystem, but it fades in importance.

As times, and our social status, change, I again create a new environment. Standards and expectations are higher. Dinner parties are more formal affairs. The strawberry pound cake is ubiquitous; by its familiarity it loses the status it once had. More experimentation is required; the kitchen yields up multiple failed experiments as I tinker with the pound cake recipe. Eventually I hit on the idea of combining sugar and butter, with flavourings, creating a sweet, creamy mixture that I spread all over the round, altered pound cake recipe I was topping with fruit before. Suddenly the frosted cake has been created. By merely altering the flavour of the frosting, I can create almost infinite variations of flavour.

As expected, the cake is wildly successful, and in a short period of time becomes the top predator of the dessert cart. All lesser confections wilt in its presence; its deliciousness renders the pound cake virtually extinct in polite society.

Time passes; environments once again change. The cake recipe continues to undergo changes as I either find that the situation requires a different design, or simply out of boredom. Before long, the seven-layer torte is created. It bears no visible relationship to its humble ancestor, the pound cake, but a detailed chemical analysis reveals that the same ingredients are the basic building blocks of the finished result.

By varying the consistency of frosting and working with tools I designed, I create elaborate, fanciful designs. They flourish in limited, specific environments, and while they are summits of artistic talent and aesthetic design, their very intricacy relegates them to a small niche in the dessert hierarchy.

Despite my pound cake being a prehistoric precursor to the myriad of delicacies now filling the dessert cart with diversity and variety, it remains the original building block from which I can trace all my work. The cupcake, the Swiss roll, the fruitcake, the eclair, the cream puff and even the cheesecake ultimately derive from my endless experiments in the kitchen. Many of the changes I've made to the recipes have resulted in lethal mutations, cakes that have gone directly from oven to scavengers, worthless for the purpose they were designed. But with patience and persistence I have populated the world of desserts with a dizzying variety and diversity, all derived from the simple poundcake: sic infinit.

The point of this, for those who find it obscure, is that a long list of chance mutations and impossibly improbable events aren't necessarily required to explain the progression of one life form into another. Note that I am not trying to argue that every organism was created in the way you see it today, nor am I arguing that one organism is not related to another. What I am pointing out is that Occam's Razor would point us in the direction of believing that instead of relying on a list of accidents and chances whose combined probabilities defy mathematical construct, a single intelligence took simple ingredients and from them created an infinite number of variations.

And in a small addendum: my husband, on hearing about this post, said in no uncertain terms that I am the only person on the face of this earth or any other that could possibly come up with an argument against evolution using pound cake.

Butternut Velvet Soup

2010-10-23T06:51:00.003-04:00

This soup feels absolutely incredible in your mouth and tastes fantastic.

Take 1 butternut squash, good size, and cut it into chunks. Remove the seeds and peel the chunks. Now you want to steam them. In my pressure cooker this took about 8 minutes. Steam them for as long as you need to in order to get them to a puree-able state.

In a pan, put 1 can of coconut milk. To this you're going to add spices: salt (add a little bit extra), pepper, at least a teaspoon of powdered ginger, garam masala, and a little cayenne. You could also add cinnamon and/or nutmeg if you like that kind of thing.

Once your squash is cooked, puree the chunks in the blender and then add the puree to the coconut milk. Mix and heat through. I found that I wanted the soup to be a bit more spicy so I threw in some Thai red pepper flakes. If you do this, be judicious, because they're really, really powerful.

This soup is really rich, sweet/spicy and does NOT taste of coconut. It's just amazingly good.

For BB

2010-10-20T19:18:00.002-04:00

I have the 'post in Hindi' button on my Blogger page :) This is just a straight up transliteration....

तू ने सड़े मालिस, सेड कंत्रा औदेन्तिओर इतो -विर्गील, एनिड

Braj

2010-10-20T16:25:00.003-04:00

Govardhan Hill

Srila Prabhupada's Samadhi/ISKCON Temple

Vrindavana Parikrama Path

Brijbasi

Lord Sri Krsna, the life of Vrindavan

Miners

2010-10-14T20:10:00.003-04:00

Miners have pretty much had the short dirty end of the stick for centuries. Even back in the 16th century when Agricola was writing the definitive guide to mining (De Re Metallica, which stood for hundreds of years as the standard on the subject and is in the bookcase here translated into English by none other than President Hoover), the working conditions of the mining community were so bad that local preachers were lobbying for improvements.

Are things much different now? We hear all the time about huge mine accidents-in China, in West Virginia, in Utah. These folks are generational miners. Lots of them work the mines because their families have always worked the mines, and there's nothing else BUT mining in the areas where they live (have you been to rural West Virginia lately? Not what I'd call a hotbed of entrepreneurial activity.) Of course, there are always those who say 'if you don't like it, move', but in many cases there's not a lot of practical reality going along with that easy-to-spout pontificate. You can't always just pick your shit up and go.

So there have always been miners, ever since the day that someone discovered that something valuable could be dug out of the ground in a certain area. And there have always been mine owners who, like all business owners, want to get as much labour bang for their buck as possible. To this very day squeezing the dollar often means cutting back on safety. Look at the recent accidents-mines that had hundreds of safety violations that were ignored, never addressed, swept under the rug. Workers afraid to speak out for fear of losing their jobs. In the end, workers losing their lives, in the name of increasing the company's bottom line. Profits before people.

I don't think that many people realize how important these folks are to the day to day running of the country. We don't think about the miners. They're poor folks, living in backwaters where important and precious things have been deposited underground millions of years ago. No one thinks about them until a story on CNN about an explosion or a cave-in brings notice. But without these miners, a lot of the country's industry would collapse for lack of raw materials or energy. These poor folks, in the final rendering, play a large part in keeping the country running.

Recently, the Chilean mine collapse has been in the news. Thirty-three miners were trapped thousands of feet underground. They remained there for over two months, and yesterday were all rescued safe and healthy.

This is an amazing story for many reasons. There's a lot more really going on here than you see on the surface. Collapses happen; you can't always plan for them or plan around them, but the engineers and geologists who put this mine together made sure there were enough safety points and supplies so that 33 men could breathe, get a message out that they needed help, and survive. That's major. In many of the mine collapses and cave ins, you eventually hear that people died because their radios had been taken away to save costs, or that vital safety supplies hadn't been stocked. There's no excuse for that.

Additionally, praise goes to the rescue workers, start to finish, who provided ongoing supplies of food, water, and communication to those trapped. Another engineering miracle drilled a rescue shaft to get them out one by one from so far underground they were at risk for the bends (which normally only happens to people diving in deep water). And lastly, praise goes to the Chilean government for its support, and presumably its stringent safety requirements (that's a presumption on my part) on mining.

I hope that mining companies, and governments, worldwide will take lessons from this event. That 33 men can survive two months underground in a collapsed mine is a testament to adverse-event planning, foresight and concern for workers' safety. Enough cannot be said about this. The standards set here should be the gold standard, the mandatory standard, for mines worldwide. Perhaps then we would hear less tragedy and more success stories from beneath the earth.

Texas Cheese Grits

2010-10-11T05:31:00.005-04:00

Every single morning for breakfast I have cheese grits. Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with grits, it's sort of a corn semolina. The texture is a bit more coarse than Cream of Wheat ('farina' in our house growing up) but it's cooked the same way. The major difference between farina and grits, besides the grain, is that farina tends to be a sweet dish served with milk, butter and sugar, and grits are more of a savory served with salt, pepper and a variety of different additions. For breakfast, I've seen people stir in an egg while the grits cook, or add a slice of fried liver pudding, pork cracklings or basically anything you can think of (even a piece of fried catfish!) to bulk it up a little. I'm particularly fond of cheese in my grits. It makes the texture a bit smoother and creamier and also adds protein.

Grits can also be used as a successful side dish anywhere you might use rice or potatoes. Grits will stand up to gravy if you cook them a little longer. Many people have heard of 'shrimp and grits', which, when I used to eat things like shrimp, was a hell of a good meal, and is served in nice restaurants around here. Even so, they're very economical; when I was in nursing school, at the hospital where we did clinicals, you could get a bowl of grits for 5 cents (no lie!). I didn't usually get a slice of cheese (30 cents) because honestly I didn't have that much money to be wasting, but I would get a bowl or two of grits every morning, and a cup of coffee from the nurses' station up on the floor (free) and that would be all I'd have until suppertime. Of course, they're more expensive now, but that was what kept me going all through school when money was more than tight.

Today for a bit of a change I decided to make a 'Texas' version of my beloved cheese grits. This sounds all complicated and stuff but really it wasn't: I just added a spoonful of salsa. Salsa for breakfast?! It was just a spoonful. Basically what it did was give the cheese a bit of spice and a little more texture with the black beans and corn. It actually turned out really well.

This Desert Pepper salsa is very good (but expensive); spicy, but not too much, with a good texture and a mixture of flavours that stay seperate even as they mix. I love salsas of all kinds if they aren't heavy on the garlic. Some of my favourites have fruit in them (Walmart has a very nice peach/pineapple/chipotle salsa) that add just a tiny bit of sweetness. Mango is also quite good in a salsa, but I think I'd go for pineapple given a choice. Anyway, I tend to keep several kinds of salsa in the fridge at any given time, just like I do Indian pickles, just for variety's sake. Since most if not all salsas are virtually fat-free, I feel like I can use them more or less at will and they are a standard topping for lots of different foods (potatoes, rice, pasta, even cottage cheese). It's actually quite rare I eat salsa with chips or anything of that nature.

In sum, if you're looking for a change, I recommend you try grits (if you never have), melt a piece of basic American cheese into it and, if you get adventurous, add a spoonful of salsa. You can get grits pretty much anywhere you can get farina (I'm not sure about this up north). Quaker sells it by the bag but I just go with Walmart's brand of Quick Grits. They take about five minutes to cook so they're a great breakfast option, are a cheap and totally versatile side dish with other meals and will give you a good warm meal that will stick with you but not weigh you down.

Storm King Mountain from Cold Spring, October 1992

2010-10-10T19:41:00.002-04:00

And furthermore

2010-10-10T18:56:00.002-04:00

I am officially as of this moment FIVE sizes smaller than I was in June.

I haven't seen this size since 1998.

Rock on, Peter Parker... rock on.

World's End, October 1992

2010-10-10T18:39:00.003-04:00

It's not really a diet, but..

2010-10-07T11:55:00.004-04:00

It's taking me a long time (mostly cause of being stubborn) to learn about what things are good, bad, and indifferent for me to eat. This is where it really becomes so obvious how psychological all of this is: so many things have had an unpleasant effect on me but I go back and do it again.

Anyway, I'm starting to acquiesce to the unavoidable. And honestly, it's paying off in how I feel.

So what have I learned?

1. Eating too fast is very bad. It will make me very uncomfortable and just basically miserable.

2. Eating too much is awful. I've only done this once and I threw up for the first time in I don't know how many years. This lesson hasn't had to be repeated.

3. Broccoli is Satan. I say this with abject disappointment because I love broccoli, and in my desperation I've tried it raw, steamed, stirfried, boiled in soup, and baked. No good. I simply cannot eat it.

4. Despite the chorus of 'fat is your friend' from folks who've had this surgery, I tend to avoid it in its most blatant forms. The whole nonabsorption thing just kinda grosses me out. And honestly, I've never been a huge fat fan, maybe from so many years of dieting. I'll cook with a little olive oil.. I use whole-fat salad dressing if I use any, and I don't mind some half and half in my coffee if I have some. I'll even occasionally eat a spring roll, which is deep-fried. (If the filling is relatively healthy I'll be okay with it for the most part). But things that are blatantly oily, like for example the wonderful Indian pickles I love, I tend to eat in very, very small quantity, like half a teaspoon. Thankfully that's usually enough to satisfy. I'm just looking for the taste. It's not necessarily that the fat makes me sick (though it does send me running).. it's more that it just grosses me out.

5. Cottage cheese and quinoa are virtually perfect foods in that they give me no undesirable side effects. I use these, in fact, to 'purge the system'. This is what I use if I've got plans for later. Thankfully, I love both of them. Cottage cheese I eat usually with some raisins, and quinoa seems to work best if I have it plain with just salt and pepper, or maybe some raisins with that too. And they're both healthy AND Ekadasi-appropriate, so there is no downside at all here. I've even learned that if I balance cottage cheese meals with less friendly meals I can keep the discomfort to a minimum. Who knew? Everyone said I'd be lactose intolerant.

6. Vitamins go down best mixed in some yogurt.

7. Dannon Greek Yogurt is another gift from on high. It has NO fat, huge quantities of protein and not a lot of carbs (I eat the plain kind with some Equal mixed in or maybe a little fresh fruit. A little means something like a quarter of a fresh nectarine.) Plus, we all know that live yogurt cultures are a very good thing for your digestive system. Mine needs it more than most now, so it's just a good thing I like this stuff... and that I'm not lactose intolerant!

8. Boca Burgers have 19 grams of protein per burger. Rock on.

9. I do best if I eat less than I think I can. This one is hard because it's purely psychological and pits your mouth against your stomach. We ate at the Mellow Mushroom the other day in Myrtle Beach and they had this tortilla soup that was so damn good. And then I had a salad that had pineapple, mushroom, Kalamata olives and jerk-seasoned tofu in it. I was so wishing I could eat more of that salad. As it was I ate more than was really good for me and so some of our plans for the weekend were disrupted. Next time I pack cottage cheese.

10. Everything happens quicker with me. Dehydration is a biggie. I didn't realize how quickly this could happen to me until I very nearly passed out at work (just the other day). When it happened I was thinking my sugar had dropped out, which it has a couple times before (though this has improved just like the doctor said it would), but it was 119. The problem was being dehydrated. So I have to remember to work on this. I hate carrying a bottle of water around, but I'll hate more falling out in Walmart or something.

11. If I can limit myself to about a teaspoon (tablespoon at most) I can have pretty much anything I want. But just enough to taste, otherwise I'm looking at possible discomfort later. It's all a matter of enforced balance.

12. Concentrated sweets, like Starburst (or any candy really), or fruit juices, or non-diet drinks, are a problem. A big, big problem. High-quantity refined carbs can do this too but not quite as quickly and drastically as the plain sugar. I found out about the candy by accident; I just spotted the Starburst one day and had to have them. Bad, bad, horrible move. Sugar free candy for me from now on if I have to have it, and I try to make sure I'm not eating huge amounts of carbs and that they're fairly complicated ones if I do. I don't eat a lot of bread anymore. This was easier than I thought. I find I don't even want it, or if I do, I just don't really have room for it in the meal. It's a good thing, I think.

Overall, I'm so unbelievably pleased with this surgery. Scott is too. I feel great. I'm buying clothes now and then... I'm losing it so fast I have no idea what size I am anymore and a lot of that is hit or miss. Also, since I'm still losing I don't want to buy TOO much stuff at any one time. Today I bought a skirt, but I think it's about two sizes too small yet (haven't tried it on) so it ought to be perfect or a bit roomy by springtime. I don't mind wearing clothes that are a little too big as long as my boobs don't fall out. This actually happened with a couple of scrub tops and I had to put them out to pasture. It's all good, though, I'm not complaining.

I would so recommend this to anyone. There's inconveniences and discomforts but nothing like some of the stories I've heard-and mostly that's because a lot of it CAN be controlled by the way you eat. Most people, since they've gone so far to have the surgery, really aren't into continuing to monitor what they put in their mouths, but I'm finding that I'm happier and more comfortable when I do. It's just that some of these lessons are a little harder to learn than others. But it's all coming along.

Who's the terrorist?

2010-10-04T16:28:00.002-04:00

Over this summer, 12 U.S. soldiers were charged for a variety of crimes in what military authorities believe was a conspiracy to murder Afghan civilians and cover it up, along with charges they used hashish, mutilated corpses and kept grisly souvenirs.

Five soldiers face murder charges, while seven others are charged with participating in a coverup. All of the men were members of a 2nd Infantry Division brigade operating near Kandahar in southern Afghanistan in 2009 and 2010.

According to the military documents, Staff Sgt. Calvin Gibbs and four other soldiers were involved in throwing grenades at civilians and then shooting them in separate incidents. Three Afghan men died.

Authorities allege Gibbs kept finger bones, leg bones and a tooth from Afghan corpses. Another soldier, Spc. Michael Gagnon II, allegedly kept a skull from a corpse, according to charging documents. Several soldiers are charged with taking pictures of the corpses, and one – Spc. Corey Moore – with stabbing a corpse.

I think part of the problem here is that Americans fail to see that terrorism doesn't always have to come outside of the military... and that America isn't necessarily viewed as The Great Liberator And Bringer Of Freedom that it loves to see itself as.

When the MILITARY is killing innocent civilians for SPORT.. you have just incited the next generation of terrorism. You've taken it upon yourself. You've created it. Any blame for terrorist attacks 25 or 30 years from now sits squarely on the shoulders of these Liberating Freedom Bringing Warriors Of Justice From America, who are tossing grenades at unarmed civilians.

Folks would rather blame it, somehow, on the President, or say that these are just a group of rogue soldiers who are smoking a bit too much dope. Ridiculous in the first case and irrelevant in the second. It doesn't matter if these soldiers were acting contrary to orders; they're wearing the uniform. They represent the country regardless of whether what they do is sanctioned by it or not.

And now they've given millions of young Muslims the impetus for revenge, and a true horror story for their elders to preach at them with.

So the next time you'd like to go off on the inhumanity of terrorists (they can be) and how horrible terrorism is (no argument there), just remember that these Good American Soldiers went around killing completely innocent civilians for fun. And that's very inhumane and very horrible also.

My Woogie

2010-10-01T18:29:00.004-04:00

Duke Children's Hospital Clinic

Naptime

Duke CVPICU

Playing Pirates

Love My Woog
12/27/2007
07/12/2010